Monday, October 31, 2005

What She Said

Completely.

I Vant to Tell Vou about Zee Batz

On this Halloween, it's good to be reminded that while bats are maligned, they are also cute and endangered and ecologically important. (Dracula notwithstanding). While you're appreciating them, also read about why bats are important for tequila. (At left, you see a big brown bat, one of the seven species native to Minnesota; image courtesy of the bats section of the Animal Diversity Web.)

MMR: Audience Requests

Greetings Snackers.

A Halloween treat of sorts, I'm taking rant requests. Let me know what you want me to rant about -- if I like it, you may see your topic ranted MMR style.

Does this mean "garlic eater" is off limits?

They've gotta be kidding - the wingnuts are saying lib'ruhls hate Alito because of his ethnicity!

Earlier today on Fox News, Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT), a member of the Judiciary Committee, followed Matt Drudge’s lead and implied that opponents of Samuel Alito’s nomination may be motivated by Alito’s ethnicity. He warned senators “to be very careful here,” because a vote against Alito would be “held against them” by Italian-Americans.
Does "Italian-American" even matter as a descriptor anymore, if the referent isn't to a restaurant?

Scalito's Way

So Dear Leader has decided to hearken to the call of the wingnuts, and nominate a "staunchly conservative" male judge to O'Connor's seat. Who is Samuel Alito? I'm sure we'll all be finding out a lot more about him in coming days, but for right now all you really need to know is that his decisions on the third circuit court of appeals have been so consistently conservative that he's been dubbed "Scalito" or "Scalia-lite" for his similarity to everyone's favorite judicial wack-job, Antonin Scalia. The AP reports:

Judicial conservatives praise Alito's 15 years on the Philadelphia-based court, a tenure that gives him more appellate experience than almost any previous Supreme Court nominee. They say his record shows a commitment to a strict interpretation of the Constitution, ensuring that the separation of powers and checks and balances are respected and enforced. They also contend that Alito has been a powerful voice for the First Amendment's guarantees of free speech and the free exercise of religion.

Liberal groups, on the other hand, note Alito's moniker and say his nomination raises troubling concerns, especially when it comes to his record on civil rights and reproductive rights. Alito is a frequent dissenter on the 3rd Circuit, one of the most liberal federal appellate benches in the nation.

In the early 1990s, Alito was the lone dissenter in Planned Parenthood v. Casey, a case in which the 3rd Circuit struck down a Pennsylvania law that included a provision requiring women seeking abortions to notify their spouses.

"The Pennsylvania legislature could have rationally believed that some married women are initially inclined to obtain an abortion without their husbands' knowledge because of perceived problems - such as economic constraints, future plans or the husbands' previously expressed opposition - that may be obviated by discussion prior to the abortion," Alito wrote.

Ladies and gents, I believe it's time to filibuster. Here's hoping the Dems can find their cojones.

UPDATE: Think Progress has all the links you need to understand why Alito is such bad, bad news for progressives.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

No Money for Iraq?!?!

Did I miss a memo? From the Times:

As the money runs out on the $30 billion American-financed reconstruction of Iraq, the officials in charge cannot say how many planned projects they will complete, and there is no clear source for hundreds of millions of dollars a year needed to operate the projects that have been finished, according to a report to Congress made public today.
The report, by the special inspector general for Iraq reconstruction, describes some progress but also an array of projects that have gone awry, sometimes astonishingly, like electrical substations that were built at great cost but never connected to the country's electrical grid.
With more than 93 percent of the American money now committed to specific projects, it could become increasingly difficult to solve those problems.
Now, citizens, do we really need any more proof that private enterprise ain't all it's cracked up to be?

RIP Al

Al Lopez, Hall of Famer and former White Sox manager, died at the age of 97. Lopez managed the "G0-Go Sox" of 1959. Thankfully, Lopez was able to see the White Sox return to the series. I had read an interview with him after Chicago swept the BoSox and he appeared to be sharp and said he was looking forward to the rest of the playoffs.

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Lopez never had a losing season while managing the Pale Hose.

Sometime later this week I plan to post a more personal and detailed account of my World Series week. Consider yourselves warned.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Friday Poetry Blogging

This one seemed appropriate for this week. In fact, I'd kind of like to tattoo it on Dubya's forehead, backwards. This is from the early 18th century. Funny how things don't change, ain't it?

Trail all your pikes, from All is Vanity
by Anne Finch, Countess of Winchilsea

Trail all your pikes, dispirit every drum,
March in a slow procession from afar,
Ye silent, ye dejected men of war!
Be still the hautboys, and the flute be dumb!
Display no more, in vain, the loftly banner.
For see! where on the bier before ye lies
The pale, the fall'n th'untimely sacrafice
To your mistaken shrine, to your false idol Honour!

Here we go!

WASHINGTON -- Vice presidential adviser I. Lewis "Scooter' Libby Jr. was indicted Friday on charges of obstruction of justice, making a false statement and perjury in the CIA leak case.

Karl Rove, President Bush's closest adviser, apparently escaped indictment Friday but remained under investigation, his legal status a looming political problem for the White House.

Libby, but no Rove?

The WaPo, CNN and the Times are all reporting that an indictment is coming today for Scooter Libby, but that Karl Rove will merely "remain under investigation." Color me the teeniest bit disappointed.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The White House under Siege

From Paul Begala at the TPMCafe:

For President Bush and his White House staff, the worst is yet to come. To be sure, waiting on a decision to indict is an exquisite form of torture. But what lies ahead is worse...

The last thing this President wants is the first thing he needs: someone to slap his spoiled, pampered, trust-funded, plutocratic, never-worked-a-day-in-his-life cheek and make him face the reality of his foul-ups...

When a White House is under siege, no one wants to talk to anyone. Literally, anything you say can and will be used against you. When you're in a meeting and you see one of your colleagues taking notes, you start to wonder how long it will be before you're interrogated based on her notes. Maybe she's doodling. Or maybe she's digging your grave. The mind tries to focus on the task at hand, but the grand jury is never far from your thoughts.

After Miers - the Son of God?

"Bush Gives Christ SCOTUS Nod."

From This Modern World.

Asked and answered

I make it a point not to watch Fox News, because, you know: it totally sucks. But the Colbert Report last night showed a clip from "Fox & Friends" (Which has to be the most fucking juvenile name for an adult-oriented show EVER) and a bunch of asshat pundits were going on about how the 2000 threshold that we've just passed for US dead in Iraq was essentially a meaningless number and it was just the liberal media making a big fuss over nothing. One woman, in particular, kept saying "I just don't see why *this* number is any more important than any *other* number, I mean, I just don't *get* it." It was pretty nausea inducing, and this is the kind of crap that tends to render me pre-verbal with outrage. Thank god, then, for Mike Luckovich: If someone asks you why this number is so important, here's the best damn response you can give.

I really, really love this graph

(Click the image and scroll down for a larger picture)


Holy Crap. She did it.

Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination. I honestly didn't think she would, and I'm not sure how to feel about it now that it's happened. I mean, most of the possible people to replace her are even scarier than she is! Anyway:

WaPo article

Miers' resignation letter

Bush's response

So what do you think? Are we even more screwed now?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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World Series in Houston

I'm rooting for the Sox, and all the more since almost every shot over the pitcher's mound in Houston shows Babs and George HW Bush, sitting just to the left of home plate.

Gnats amid the Locusts

From the New York Times:

You might have thought that the White House had enough on its plate late last month, what with its search for a new Supreme Court nominee, the continuing war in Iraq and the C.I.A. leak investigation. But it found time to add another item to its agenda - stopping The Onion, the satirical newspaper, from using the presidential seal.
Free bonus Onion genius:
President Bush Urges Nation
WASHINGTON, DC—Saying he "could not stress the issue strongly enough," President Bush urged the nation Monday in a televised address from the Oval Office. "Fellow Americans, in this time of trial for our nation, I beseech you," Bush said. "Heed my words: This great nation, founded in freedom. Therefore, I implore all Americans. I ask you, in our hour of need. Good night, and God bless you." Pundits agree that the message was the most forceful speech from the president since he interrupted regular programming to call on the nation in the spring of 2003.

Hump Day Top 5 List

Be honest: how many times in the last 4-5 years have you said to yourself "I wish I believed in an afterlife so I could know that this administration would GET THEIRS"? If you're like me, a whole bunch of times. But truthfully, it's not entirely accurate to say that I don't believe in an afterlife; my views are much more nebulous. When it comes to life-after-death stuff, I guess I'm a militant agnostic: I don't know and you don't either. Of course, not knowing doesn't stop me from thinking about it, and while I've progressed beyond Sunday-school versions of heaven and hell, I still find myself thinking about what I'd sort of like the afterlife to be. If there, you know, is one. I imagine I'm not alone in this quality. So for today's list, please enumerate your top 5 most desired qualities of the afterlife, if there is one. Here are mine:

1. Something approximating corporal reality.

2. The ability to instantly recognize and remember anyone who recognizes and remembers you.

3. Humor. Laughter. Funny stuff.

4. Greatly increased wisdom and understanding, and the ability to pursue knowledge.

5. A really fucking good library.

Bonus: I'd be pretty disappointed if I couldn't meet some of my historical idols (Shakespeare, Shaw, Austen, Joan of Arc). So something will have to be done about the whole time thing, or those guys will be all booked up!

What's on your list?

He loves the smell of torture in the morning

VICE PRESIDENT Cheney is aggressively pursuing an initiative that may be unprecedented for an elected official of the executive branch: He is proposing that Congress legally authorize human rights abuses by Americans. "Cruel, inhuman and degrading" treatment of prisoners is banned by an international treaty negotiated by the Reagan administration and ratified by the United States. The State Department annually issues a report criticizing other governments for violating it. Now Mr. Cheney is asking Congress to approve legal language that would allow the CIA to commit such abuses against foreign prisoners it is holding abroad. In other words, this vice president has become an open advocate of torture.


Read the whole thing. And check out this, too, while you're at it. Then tell me how we're any different from the Roman Empire at its very worst. TELL ME.

Walmart = Wankers

Not that you didn't know this already, but the NYT has fresh new evidence to that effect. Only yesterday Wally's World had announced a brand new PR campaign including enhanced health benefits, support for raising the minimum wage, and greener corporate practices - but then, oops! Looks like it was more a PR stunt than an actual move forward (surprise, surprise).

An internal memo sent to Wal-Mart's board of directors proposes numerous ways to hold down spending on health care and other benefits while seeking to minimize damage to the retailer's reputation. Among the recommendations are hiring more part-time workers and discouraging unhealthy people from working at Wal-Mart.

In the memorandum, M. Susan Chambers, Wal-Mart's executive vice president for benefits, also recommends reducing 401(k) contributions and wooing younger, and presumably healthier, workers by offering education benefits. The memo voices concern that workers with seven years' seniority earn more than workers with one year's seniority, but are no more productive.

To discourage unhealthy job applicants, Ms. Chambers suggests that Wal-Mart arrange for "all jobs to include some physical activity (e.g., all cashiers do some cart-gathering)." [More]


Boy. Just when you think they can't get any more disgusting ... Shakes Sis has an excellent rant on this topic if you wanna get fired up.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Sox lead series 3-0

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14 Innings (longest Series game by time, ties most innings)

Top of the 14th with two outs Blum goes yard; Rowand singles; Crede singles; Uribe walks; and Widger walks to plate one more. Buehrle in for relief with two outs and two on in the bottom of the 14th to get the save. Ozzieball at its best - an AL manager doing all of this, hmmm.

AWESOME!!!

By the way, where is the media outrage over Lane's "homer" and the umps blown call? It was off the wall, not out of the park.

There Goes Thirty Minutes

While we wait for Fitzmas, why not go read McSweeney's Recommends? There's no reason not to.

Ooh, ooh!!!

What's that I smell? Is it the sweet, sweet scent of GOP blood in the water?

Raw Story:

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has decided to seek indictments in the outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame Wilson and has submitted at least one to the grand jury, those close to the investigation tell RAW STORY.

Fitzgerald will seek at least two indictments, the sources say. They note that it remains to be seen whether the grand jury will approve the charges.

Those familiar with the case state that Fitzgerald may not seek indictments that assert officials leaked Plame's name illegally. Rather, they say that he will focus charges in the arena of lying to investigators. The sources said, however, they wouldn't rule out charges of conspiracy.


Steve Clemons:

An uber-insider source has just reported the following to TWN:

1. 1-5 indictments are being issued. The source feels that it will be towards the higher end.

2. The targets of indictment have already received their letters.

3. The indictments will be sealed indictments and "filed" tomorrow.

4. A press conference is being scheduled for Thursday.



Ooh, ooh! So 'cited!! (hat tip Shakes Sis)

Deaths and Births

Rosa Parks died yesterday, after a long and amazingly influential life. You can read her NYT obit here.

And today is the birthday of Pablo Picasso, arguably the most influential modern artist of them all. Here is a piece he did the year I was born:


Monday, October 24, 2005

MMR: Damn you Ticketmaster & Suck on it Fox

Matt's Monday Rant: This one's a double.

Ticketmaster, I was forced into your monopoly of fees yet again as the beloved White Sox prepared for the World Series. The tickets were only available through Ticketmaster. So, I have no choice but to pay all of your fees, totaling over $25 for two tickets, which I had to pick up. It would have been more if I could have selected the email option. For those prices, there should have been a freakin’ show for me at the ticket booth – a roller skating monkey, a marching band and Nancy Faust playing organ, something. Instead, I got a "sign here." I didn’t even get the extra large fancy tickets. Bastards, you rat fucking bastards. It was easy to let that one go, as it was for a White Sox world series game.

Looking at other examples (of shows I could never pay for), we have Bon Jovi and Dave Matthews with shows in St. Paul and Minneapolis respectively. For Bon Jovi, the ticket is $87, but building fee, convenience fees, charges and Ticket fast option bring the total to over 102.50 each. For Dave Matthews, tickets are $49.75, but after the same charges for the BJ show $62.00. How can you even charge for the ticket fast option?!?!? It’s all electronic, you don’t even need to print a ticket, stuff an envelope or lick a stamp. I’m doing the work with your computer system and I can’t sue you for repetitive stress injuries or sexual harassment, so why the extra fees? All fees and no value. Again, no roller skating monkey for the 20-30 percent increases. You’re evil bastards – you’re the Haliburton of the event world. If you truly added some valuable services to ticketing that be fine, but we’re forced to use you and that makes me mad.

Recently, I had tickets to an Elvis Costello show in St. Paul. Elvis was sick (sick of you if you ask me) and cancelled at the last minute. While you never had to print anything and I never had to talk to a real person, I was not refunded the entire amount of my transaction. WTF?! You kept the transaction fees for an event that never took place. The real value of money, assholes – you had that money for over 45 days. You suck and your mother smells funny.

Damn you Ticketbastards. Damn you. Fuckos like you probably enjoy having your baseball world dictated to you by hacks like Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. What a bunch of self-important pukes, along with the Fox network you’re making the Fall Classic hard to watch.

Just like every other sporting event you get your hands on, Fox (propaganda network for Bush sex slave Rupert Murdoch – today’s safe word is O’Rielly). You’ve ruined the NLCS, the ALCS and the World Series. You had battling robots in football, a glowing puck for hockey, fake blood splatters for the Ultimate Transubstantiation Championships, and now you’ve brought in a talking animated baseball named Scooter. Fuck Scooter. I suppose the name is OK, as it leaks information about pitchers secrets, but why do we need a cartoon baseball? After Scooter, we get EXTREME sound and graphics whooshing past the screen so that one knows if a replay is about to take place. WTF? Jesus, Maynard the same god-damned play keeps happening again and again…or perhaps it was a replay. Yep, we’re in a fucking episode of Finnegans Wake or Groundhog’s Day. Worst of all, we get Joe "Thank God for Daddy" Buck and Tim "Duh" McCarver. Buck has the job because Cardinal fans had to listen to has dad shake and drool while calling games in St. Louis. Joe mistakes this sperm lottery for people actually enjoying his insight or the sound of his blowhard voice. Joe, you’re not that good. Here’s a tip, when calling a national game stop letting your bias for a team come through. Beyond being a Sox fan, I loved watching Chicago shove it up your ass as they spanked the Los Angeles/California/San Quentin Angels of the West Coast. Why? Because it was so clear that you were rooting against the Sox. My wife, who watches very little baseball and has a cutting honesty, said "Jesus, they’re coming all over themselves talking about the Angels." You were worried about all of the travel they went through to get to the ALCS and how they needed to sleep. Look Joe, they can sleep until spring training.

Then there’s Tim McCarver. He’s had so many bad dye jobs that toxins are leaking through his scalp into his demented brain. This fuck-knuckle was Steve Carlton’s caddy and now he’s going to tell us the ins and outs of baseball. Fuck that noise. Tim, maybe Rowand should have been on second, in game two, but let it fucking go. Your argument hinged on not plating the run. Fuck you, he scored and AJ scored after him. You’re a confused old man. You’re to baseball, what Strom "get that machine out of my face" Thurmond was to politics and responsible fathering. The world has passed you by. Wash out your hair, strap on the adult diapers and enjoy the rest home. Buck and McCarver, only you can make Zelasko and Kennedy’s pre/post game seem tolerable. Zelasko’s pimpette outfits and bling and Kennedy’s forced enthusiasm don’t help, but they’re welcome relief afterEven after seven beers or a stroke, or both, Harry Caray could add insight and keep the game interesting. Christ, Jimmy Peirsol was certifiable and was a better addition to the game. Like my president, I had no choice in your selection and you make me sick.

Oh, I almost forgot about your fucking plants in the audience. Those hacks from "Prison Break" ,or what ever turd you're hard sellin' this fall, aren’t Sox fans. Why do you use your tickets that way? Bernie Mac is OK as he’s from Chicago, he’s a Sox fan and he’s on a Fox show – that makes sense. But disinterested B-lists tv actors don’t deserve promotional treatment. Hey everybody, Hacky McHakerson from the fall’s suckiest show is here – watch our shitty programming after the series.

Game Time Preparation

My over-the-top descriptions of this series continue. One of my aunts sent me this picture today. It's a picture of my grandfather's grave site. At about the same time my dad and I were entering the stadium for Game One, my mom, an aunt and an uncle decorated Clarence's grave on Saturday. The Sox pennant hung above the bar in his basement. That bar was made of church pews and kneelers from and old Catholic church in my home town. My grandfather was always a bit irreverent (as indicated by the materials for his bar), so I'm sure he loves the decorated grave.


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Who is Ben Bernanke?

I mean, besides the man that Dear Leader is nominating to replace Alan Greenspan. I don't have the economic chops to know what to make of Bernanke right off the bat, but the NRO doesn't like him, which I find hopeful. Some other links to get up to speed:

- Some articles Bernanke published while at Princeton

- A June 2004 interview with Bernanke by the Minneapolis Fed Research Director.

- A well-known 2002 speech on deflation that Bernanke gave to the National Economists Club

If any of you Snackers out there (Dark Wraith?) have a background in this stuff, I'd love to get some better-informed input on this guy.

Breaking Ranks

The New Yorker hasn't posted a link to the full article, but if you're looking for more info on the scathing piece by Jeffrey Goldberg (in which Brent Scowcroft chronicles his myriad disagreements with 43's administration), Steve Clemons has some good, long excerpts. Go check him out, and then go buy the magazine - this is one you'll want to keep.

Are you ready for Fitzmas?

From Wikipedia (at least, until it gets deleted):

Fitzmas is the name given by some liberal bloggers to the atmosphere of excitement and anticipation preceding the conclusion of Patrick Fitzgerald's grand jury investigation into the Plame affair. The word is a portmanteau of Fitzgerald's name and "Christmas".

Said excitement and anticipation has caused many parodies of traditional Christmas songs to be written and posted around the liberal blogosphere. There are also several versions of "'Twas the Night Before Fitzmas" (based, of course, on the classic Christmas poem "A Visit From St. Nicholas"). The term became sufficiently widespread to draw derisive attention from a columnist for the conservative magazine National Review. [1]

First use of the term "Fitzmas" was on October 6, 2005 by SpiralHawk on the Democratic Underground website. [2] Since then Fitzmas spirit has spilled off the web and into the real world, as evidenced by this Fitzmas decoration.


You'll also want to check out these Fitzmas carols, and don't forget Fitzmas Bingo!

Game One

After living in baseball exile in the Metrodome for the better part of the past decade, it was great to make the pilgrimage home. The sites, the sounds, the smells, the energy of post season baseball is something to behold. There are a lot of great stories that I could write about, but I think it is best to wait until the series has run its course. However, I may need to rant a bit more about the Fox broadcast team - which should be a double-dip as I bring in last week's Ticketmaster rant.


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A picture of my dad before the game, upper concourse of The Cell with the downtown skyline in the background.

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Sox Win! The exploding scoreboard lights up after Game One.

The series resumes in Houston on Tuesday.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Naming Things - Blogs, Projects, Babies...

Everybody has to come up with names for things, and to that end, the "First-Person Shooter Level Name Generator" will be handy. Just thinking of the workplace I formerly shared with Matt and Elise, I selected an industrial style of level containing fire and characterized (paradoxically) by fire. I can now say that I managed to clear "the Dim Wasteland of Doom," which I've suspected since September 30.

(Link via Clive Thompson's excellent Collision Detection.)

Hatin' on the Religious Right

Exhibit #21,323,214,508: Harriet Miers isn't just a crony, she's a corrupt crony:

Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers collected more than 10 times the market value for a small slice of family-owned land in a large Superfund pollution cleanup site in Dallas where the state wanted to build a highway off-ramp.

The windfall came after a judge who received thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from Miers' law firm appointed a close professional associate of Miers and an outspoken property-rights activist to the three-person panel that determined how much the state should pay.
Exhibit #21,323,214,509: Maybe it's time to start skipping Starbucks:
Starbucks coffee cups will soon be emblazoned with a religious quotation from Rick Warren, the best-selling author and pastor, which includes the line, "You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense." [snip] Starbucks executives deny that the company was trying to placate religious groups when it decided to add Mr. Warren's quote to its cups. "We're trying to show a diversity of thought and opinion," said Anne Saunders, a senior vice president in charge of marketing. "There is not a quote that's an answer to another."

Friday, October 21, 2005

Friday Poetry Blogging: Rainy Autumn Day edition

Because there's nowhere I'd rather be on a rainy day than in an old, comfortable library, losing all track of time.

An Afternoon in the Stacks
by Mary Oliver

Closing the book, I find I have left my head
inside. It is dark in here, but the chapters open
their beautiful spaces and give a rustling sound,
words adjusting themselves to their meaning.
Long passages open at successive pages. An echo,
continuous from the title onward, hums
behind me. From in here, the world looms,
a jungle redeemed by these linked sentences
carved out when an author traveled and a reader
kept the way open. When this book ends
I will pull it inside-out like a sock
and throw it back in the library. But the rumor
of it will haunt all that follows in my life.
A candleflame in Tibet leans when I move.

Friday Read 'ems

A sampling of today's goodies:

Majikthise has the money shots of Delay's perp walk - wearing the exact same creepy, creepy smile as he did in his mugshot. She's got other great coverage of the event, too, so check it all out.

Shakes Sis offers excerpts from a ridiculous USA Today article, which opens "Last year for the first time, women earned more than half the degrees granted statewide in every category, be it associate, bachelor, master, doctoral or professional. Cause for celebration - or for concern?" Yeah, go see Shakey take 'em down.

Both Lawyers, Guns and Money and Crooked Timber rip Leon Kass TO SHREDS, in an extremely funny way, for his completely fucktarded article on "The End of Courtship" for a Focus on the Family webzine. Yes, that's the same Leon Kass who was formerly the Preznit's head bioethicist.

And lastly, Xtcian thanks the US Psy-ops team for the excellent work they're doing on behalf of American diplomacy.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Harshing Matt's Buzz

Since lord knows Matt is too busy ironing his White Sox jersey and blocking his caps, I'll go ahead and do the public service of posting a bit about the next-to-last time the White Sox were in the World Series. In 1919, several gamblers paid a group of White Sox players - including the best player of the era, Shoeless Joe Jackson - to throw their series with the Cincinnati Reds. The "Black Sox" scandal is probably the worst moment in baseball history, and it's also a fascinating, crushing disproof of the idea that baseball was ever a game untainted by villainy and greed. Baseball is America's game especially because it's always been so shot through with the worst elements of capitalism, racism, and all the rest of the great American evils. Here is a good history of the scandal and here is a good multimedia look at it.

What's Your Region?

This is cool and worth a few minutes of your time: the CommonCensus Map Project. It's an attempt at "redrawing the map of the United States based on your voting, to show how the country is organized culturally, as opposed to traditional political boundaries. It shows how the country is divided into 'spheres of influence' between different cities at the national, regional, and local levels." Here's the current map. Look at the swathes dominated by Denver or Salt Lake City to get a sense of what they're trying to do: to find the real capitals of regions. (No-brainerally, Minneapolis is the capital of my zone.)

I've thought about these sorts of cultural and economic zones since growing up in the hinterland's hinterland, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I wondered about why we Yoopers were so strangely oriented in so many directions at once. I rooted for the Green Bay Packers, not the Detroit Lions, but I also rooted for Detroit Tigers and Pistons and Red Wings. When we had to go school shopping, we went to Minneapolis. My grandfather and uncle, both truckers, were constantly heading to Green Bay. (Now, my dad, also a trucker, drives to Minneapolis and Chicago.) Though the three cities in which I grew up were only about two hours apart, at various times I watched Duluth, Green Bay, and Detroit television stations. All of this regionalism was brought home in college when I read William Cronon's amazing Nature's Metropolis: Chicago and the Great West, which shows how Chicago used timber, grain, and meat to establish dominance over the upper Midwest in the last third of the nineteenth century - a status it still arguably holds. Chicago didn't have any political sway over, say, Dakota grainfields or St. Paul railroads, but it nonetheless controlled them. The CommonCensus Map Project looks to be a looser way of arrriving at some of the same conclusions for the contemporary US. Does your city land in a surprising zone?

This is a Mug Shot?



Are you kidding me right now? Who smiles like this when they're getting booked? That man's either an imbecile or a sociopath.

Fire on Miers

From today's American Progress Report:

SUPREME COURT -- JUDICIARY COMMITTEE ASKS MIERS TO RESUBMIT 'INADEQUATE, INSULTING' QUESTIONNAIRE
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), and ranking minority member Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT), sent a return letter to Harriet Miers yesterday asking that she resubmit parts of her judicial questionnaire -- the first time many senators and aides could recall the committee sending a questionnaire back to a nominee. Various members found her answers to the first questionnaire to be "inadequate," "insufficient" and "insulting." As one example of Miers's questionable answers, she referred to the "proportional representation requirement of the Equal Protection Clause" as it relates to the Voting Rights Act. "There is no proportional representation requirement in the Equal Protection Clause," said Cass Sunstein, a constitutional law professor at the University of Chicago. Leahy remarked, "If the questions are not answered or their answer is incomplete, as they have been, then it's going to be a long hearing indeed." The most recent setback led Specter to opine, "There's been more controversy before this nominee has uttered a formal word than I have ever heard."
Jesus. I've seen some bad job applications before, but holy cow - this goes well beyond a few typos or an impersonal cover letter! I sincerely hope, in my heart of hearts, that Bush tries to see that this locomotive is on fire. It'll be fun as hell to see it go off the rails.

Jokes with a Narrow Appeal

I know that there are at least a few MIAC-school alums out there, so...

How many MIAC students does it take to change a light bulb?

-At Carleton, it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

-At Hamline, it takes three. One to change the bulb and two to phone a friend at St. Thomas to get instructions.

-At Macalester, it takes four. One to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.

-At St. Mary's, it takes five. One to change it and four to talk about how they would have done it in Chicago.

-At Gustavus, it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect "J. Crew" outfit to wear for the occasion.

-At Augsburg, it takes seven and each one gets four semester credit hours for it.

-At St. Thomas, they hire graduates from other MIAC schools to do jobs such as this.

-At St. John's, it takes eight. One to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during football season.

-At Concordia, it takes ten. One to figure out how to screw it in, nine to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

-At St. Olaf, it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Carleton, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.

-At Bethel, it takes none. They don't screw.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Indict All Night

David Corn, the lefty rabblerouser, has a good blog post about just who might be indicted by Patrick Fitzgerald in l'affaire Plame. The list of possibilities makes my bleeding heart pound with joy: Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, even maybe Dick Cheney. And Ari Fleischer! Ari freaking Fleischer!

If even two of these chumps are rung up, you can get the fork ready for Bush's second term, 'cause he's almost done. (And in the same week that DeLay might be his mug shot? Priceless...)

Another Sox Story

Best story of someone getting tickets for the series, so far. A friend's sister-in-law is a teacher in Chicago. She has a computer science class that covered the noon Ticketmaster sale time. Helping the students to undertand computers through real-life applications, she had all 25 students try to get through to Tickmaster (showing them how to refresh their browser, open mutliple sessions, etc.). The result? One student was able to get a pair of tickets for the teacher (who is a Sox fan and is married to another Sox fan).

I thought it would have been more interesting if it was an ethics class.

Hump Day Top 5 List

While the husband and I are thrilled to be incipient parents, my burgeoning belly does mean that the trip to Scotland my mother, sister and I were planning for this summer won't be happening - at least not this year. (I don't fancy international travel with a two month old; they're cute and all, but they cramp your style, tourist-wise.) And this is sad, because I loooooooove traveling, and it would have been the husband's first trip overseas. So in the interest of vicarious pleasures, for today's list I want to see the top 5 places you've traveled, with an explanation for what made each place so great. No limit on location or length of time spent. Have at it! Here are mine:

1. Salzburg, Austria - I lived there for a semester with my family during my senior year in high school. It was amazing. I immersed myself in art and music history and soaked up the language (with the crazy Austrian accent) - and we lived right at the base of a gorgeous mountain.

2. London, England - lived there for a semester in college, and it felt like coming home (probably as a result of all the British lit I'd grown up reading). We lived in the Little Venice neighborhood, right down the street from Annie Lennox (!) and I don't think I've ever loved a city so much.

3. Bellagio, Italy - you want pure gorgeous, go to Bellagio. Right on Lake Como, nestled in the mountains ... there's no great museum or church like there are in so many major Italian cities, but all you need to do is walk through the Melzi gardens and take a deep breath of lake air to feel all your little petty stresse just float away.

4. Inverness, Scotland - especially in autumn. Even more especially when you could go on Gordon's minibus tour of Loch Ness, and talk about life and death as you picnic'd on a hill surrounded by sheep. I felt like I was in a frickin' George MacDonald story!

5. New York, New York, USA - it's just such an exciting place to be - so energizing and busy. And truly something for every taste and palate, from theatre to restaurants to art to music to shopping. (And really, what else is there?) If I could afford it, I'd split my time between Manhattan and London. Wouldn't that be the life?

Pretty Eurocentric, I know, but that's where I've been so that's my list! What's yours?

Bad Target. No!

Target is normally one of my favorite retailers - good merchandise, easy on the wallet, and generally laudable corporate practices. Which is why it sucks so much when they mess up. Yep, Target pharmacy is the latest to jump on the refusal bandwagon, this time in Missouri. Planned Parenthood (via Pam) reports:

A 26-year-old Missouri woman was refused EC when she handed her prescription to a pharmacist at a Target store in Fenton, MO, on September 30. The woman was told by the pharmacist, “I won’t fill it. It’s my right not to fill it.” She was told that she could go to a local Walgreens instead. The woman said, “When the pharmacist told me she wouldn't [fill the prescription], I went from disbelief to shock to anger. I guess I'm still pretty angry. It seems unbelievable to me that a medical professional could/would deny access to a federally approved drug and impose their personal beliefs in a professional setting. I am also grateful that I did not need it filled at that time. I don't know how it would be if I had just been raped or if the condom broke and I was a feeling confusion and panic anyway -- and then was denied access and told to go across the street.”

The national headquarters of Target has not responded to three PPFA attempts to clarify its policy on pharmacist refusals.

Now, this may be more about Missouri than about Target, but that doesn't excuse their apparent unwillingness to take a corporate position against this kind of bullshit. With the recent launch of their new line of prescription bottles and pharmacy services, filling prescriptions is big business for Target - they need to make sure that the public can trust that they won't have to submit to political/partisan grandstanding when they go to get their pills. Planned Parenthood offers an easy-to-submit online letter demanding that Target and other major companies clarify their corporate policy on dispensing birth control and emergency contraception. You know what to do!

Classy. Real, real classy.

You know those bonuses that some reservists were supposed to get for extending their enlistment? Well, they're not getting them. Via Atrios:

WASHINGTON The Pentagon has reneged on its offer to pay a $15,000 bonus to members of the National Guard and Army Reserve who agree to extend their enlistments by six years, according to Sen. Patty Murray (D-Seattle).

The bonuses were offered in January to Active Guard and Reserve and military technician soldiers who were serving overseas. In April, the Office of the Secretary of Defense for Reserve Affairs ordered the bonuses stopped, Murray said.

“This is outrageous,” the senator said in a telephone interview. “It makes me angry that this administration has broken another promise to our troops.”

A Pentagon spokeswoman, Lt. Col. Ellen Krenke, confirmed the bonuses had been canceled, saying they violated Pentagon policies because they duplicated other programs. She said Guard and Reserve members would be eligible for other bonuses.

Krenke said some soldiers had been paid the re-enlistment bonuses, but she was unsure how many or whether the money would have to be repaid. Murray’s office said that as far as it knew, no active Guard or Reserve members had received the bonuses.


Yeah, because we don't want to give them any incentives or anything. I mean, it's not like we're having trouble recruiting! Nosirree!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Sweet Home Chicago

As I prepare to head down to Chicago for game one of the World Series, I was looking for a picture I took on the last day at old Comiskey Park. It was a picture of my grandfather, who died years before, in my seat -- a picture of a picture, that's just meta. I couldn't find it (the curse of two apartments and a house in four years). I hope to find it, as I wanted to take a picture of that picture within a picture. My grandpa taught me a lot about being a Sox fan and being loyal. I'm a third-generation Sox fan on both sides of my family. My maternal grandfather, was a Sox fan for pragmatic reasons - he worked in a factory during the day, so there was no way to follow the Cubs. The Sox played a lot of night games. If you've ever heard Lee Elia's (former Cub manager) rant, it all makes sense. It's even better with audio. We're part of the 85% that works for a living, right?

Man, I'm so fired up about this trip. I'm going to will call with my dad -- the buddy system. I'm afraid I've been in Minneapolis and have gone soft. With the price of series tickets on Ebay and broker sites I don't dare walk away from the window alone. I love the Sox, but there's no such thing as "Chicago nice." I thought about taking the red line down to pick up tickets on Friday, but then thought I'd get rolled 37 seconds after leaving the will call window. Instead, dad and I are getting the tickets and stopping off at Portillo's for an Italian beef sandwich (along with really good pizza, something that you don't find in Minnesota).

While digging for the picture of gramps, I found two other things Snackers might appreciate.

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Sen. Dick Durbin & Matt (taken in March of 2000, before the dark times, before the empire).

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My ticket stub from the last game at old Comiskey. Note the face value of the ticket $10.50.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The blogosphere is a-buzzing today with various things substantiated and un-.

The BAD news is that there's increasing evidence that, as suspected, Harriet Miers is one anti-choice lady. So stupid on all counts, it would seem. I'm kind of surprised that I'm not more outraged about this. I don't know if it's a case of outrage-overload or if I'm just being fatalistic: I mean, at this point I think Miers would have to personally behead a living fetus before she'd be rejected, and even then ...

The GOOD news - or at least juicy news - is that it sounds like special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is getting some help with his investigation from a pretty highly placed insider. The Daily News is reporting that a "secret snitch" is helping Fitzgerald get closer to making charges: "They have got a senior cooperating witness - someone who is giving them all of that," a source who has been questioned in the leak probe told the Daily News yesterday.


And the UGLY news is that Shakes Sis wants to know what the hell Cheney's keeping in his pants (go to her site for the picture - it's too gross to post). I voted for a cucumber wrapped in foil, but what do I know?

Look, I may be trashy ...

... but there's not much I enjoy more than reading Go Fug Yourself on Britney.

100 Best English-Language Novels since 1923

Time magazine has just published a list of the 100 best English-language novels published since 1923 (which is the year Time began publication). Those wusses wouldn't rank them, though, so there's no top-10 to list. If they won't engage in some healthy all-American competition, though, I will: I've read 26 of them. What about you?

WS Game 1

The good news, I have two tickets for game 1!! The bad news is I'm going to have to make my dad and brother wrestle for the other ticket. I was hoping for at least three tickets. I'm in the upper deck of the right field foul line. That's not great, but I'm in the park.

More later.

MMR: Ticketmaster, a rant delayed

Council has advised me that it is against my best interest to rant about Ticketmaster until today's World Series transaction has been (safely) completed. *

In the meantime, imagine me quietly protesting with a picture of Stone Gossard and Eddie Vedder testifying before Senate.

*Please, please, please.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Vikings Sinking

The evolving "Love Boat" scandal - wherein members of the Minnesota Vikings apparently arranged a charter-boat orgy for themselves and friends - just gets better and better. See the sports blog Badjocks for an indispensible compendium of news and rumor, like this tidbit:

Vikings "Love Boat" Scandal Update #1: Naughty Vikings Thought They Were in "International Waters" - One source is telling BadJocks that a Vikings player aboard the boat thought they would be immune from legal prosecution for their actions because the boat was, "In international waters." When told that Lake Minnetonka was nowhere near international waters (12 miles out into the ocean) the player's response was reportedly one word: "Sh*t!"

Bush: "Duhrrrrrrr..."

Without cable, I can't really watch "The Daily Show," but I get a sense of its brilliance from devotee friends and bits like this, from Tom Tomorrow:

Last night's Daily Show, a rerun from a few weeks back, contained a Bush quote from September 23 that I missed at the time. He's in Texas with Chertoff, discussing Hurricane Rita:

The thing I'm gonna do is, observe the relationship between the state and local government...I'm gonna watch that relationship, it's an important relationship and I need to understand how it works better.

Did I mention he said this in Texas? Where, as Jon Stewart of course pointed out, he was once governor?

My wife and I were discussing this, trying to think of a single Democratic presidential candidate who was as obviously--what's the word I want?--stupid as George W. Bush, and we just couldn't. I have disagreed strongly with plenty of Democratic candidates, but I can't think of one as predictably cringeworthy as GWB.

A small announcement

Just wanted to share with all you Snackers: the spousal unit and I are expecting a wee addition to the family in late April! This is very welcome news. For anyone who's interested in the gory details, I've started a blog about the whole impending motherhood ordeal: the Snarky Squab. I'll still be posting here on a regular basis, but the motherhood stuff will be (generally) confined to the new blog.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled snackage.

Local meat-product makes good

... in Korea, of all places. The LA Times reports:

SEOUL — Stroll into an expensive department store and walk straight past the $180 watermelon with a ribbon twirled just so around its stem. Don't bother with the tea in a butterfly-shaped tin for $153, or with the gift boxes of Belgian chocolates or French cheeses.

If you're looking for a gift that bespeaks elegance and taste, you might try Spam. The luncheon meat might be the subject of satire back home in the U.S., but in South Korea, it is positively classy. With $136 million in sales, South Korea is the largest market in the world for Spam outside the United States. But here, some consider the pink luncheon meat with its gelatinous shell too nice to buy for themselves, and 40% of the Spam is purchased as gifts.

Especially during the holidays, you can see the blue-and-yellow cans neatly stacked in the aisles of the better stores. South Koreans are nearly as passionate about packaging as the Japanese are, and the Spam often comes wrapped in boxed sets. A set of 12 cans costs $44.

"Spam really is a luxury item," said Han Geun Rae, 43, an impeccably dressed fashion buyer who was loading gift boxes of Spam into a cart at the Shinsegae department store before the recent Chusok holiday.

Wow. This, to me, is crazy - though I can think of other examples (the article even makes reference to the classic one of the French and Jerry Lewis). Right off the bat, though, I can't think of similar examples in this country. I'm sure there are some, I just can't think of any. What are the things we prize that are considered low-rent or laughable in their country of origin?

MMR: Ticketmaster or Fox

Good morning. For my Monday rant, should I rant about Ticketmaster or about Fox broadcsting ruining every game they cover?

Please post comments to let me know. As my choices for Monday are limited, I will entertain any spectacular wildcard submissions too.

Thanks.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Go Go Sox

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The Sox return to the World Series!!! Too excited to write about much more about it. Sweeping Boston and then winning three on the road against the LA Disneyland California Angels in the outfield. Four consecutive complete games by Sox starting pitching.
I did place a $10.00 bet on the Sox to win the AL when I was in Vegas in March -- that returns $90.00. Now, let's hope I can cash in my bet to win the World Series.
By the way, if anyone has Ticketmaster tips, please let me know -- Sox tickets go on sale Tuesday. I hope to be there for game one.
Go Sox!!

Friday, October 14, 2005

JAMES BOND IS NOT BLOND!

Why does Albert Broccoli's family want the terrorists to win?

Friday Poetry Blogging

Today's poem is pretty overtly religious, so it might seem strange to people who know me that it's one of my absolute favorites. I'm not a particularly religious person - by which I mean that I'm very interested in religion from a historical and cultural studies angle, but not so much as a practitioner. But this poem really hits me where I live in how it characterizes the tendency we have to get bound up in ourselves to the exclusion of more important, meaningful things. It's author was a "lesser" 19th century poet from the Isle of Man, but this particular poem seems very Zen to me. Anyway, I love it, and I hope you like it, too.

Indwelling
by T.E. Brown

IF thou couldst empty all thyself of self,
Like to a shell dishabited,
Then might He find thee on the Ocean shelf,
And say—" This is not dead,"—
And fill thee with Himself instead.

But thou art all replete with very thou,
And hast such shrewd activity,
That, when He comes, He says :—" This is enow
Unto itself—’Twere better let it be:
It is so small and full, there is no room for Me."

Talk about a CD rack!!

This is what happens when D&D geeks get big grants:

Computer chips that store music could soon be built into a woman's breast implants.

One boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person's whole music collection.

BT futurology, who have developed the idea, say it could be available within 15 years.

BT Laboratories' analyst Ian Pearson said flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist.

According to The Sun he said: "It is now very hard for me to think of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful."

The senors around the body linked through the electrical impulses in the chips may also be able to warn wearers about heart murmurs, blood pressure increases, diabetes and breast cancer.


Look, the only boob I want holding my MP3 player is the dumb-but-pretty houseboy I plan on hiring as soon as I win the lottery. And I LOVE how that last bit, about actual lifesaving technologies, is thrown in as an afterthought. Sigh. (via Feministing)

This is just a lovely, lovely post.

Python vs. Gator

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! See the evolutionary grudge match of the eon live in the Everglades or on pay-per-view.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Conservatives Have Two Hips, But Aren't

The only anything more dangerous or silly looking than a penguin with a shotgun is a conservative trying to be hip. Look at their t-shirts! (And don't miss this little reminder of gender difference, in the left sidebar "COMING SOON: ThoseGirls™ - More photos of our hot T-Shirt models.")


"Why can't I outsource my life?"

This is brilliant: an account of how a writer for Esquire outsourced most of his personal and working life, from writing his articles to buying gifts for his wife and son:

It began a month ago. I was midway through "The World Is Flat," the bestseller by Tom Friedman. I like Friedman, despite his puzzling decision to wear a mustache. His book is all about how outsourcing to India and China is not just for tech support and carmakers but is poised to transform every industry in America, from law to banking to accounting. CEOs are chopping up projects and sending the lower-end tasks to strangers in cubicles ten time zones away. And it's only going to snowball; America has not yet begun to outsource.

I don't have a corporation; I don't even have an up-to-date business card. I'm a writer and editor working from home, usually in my boxer shorts or, if I'm feeling formal, my penguin-themed pajama bottoms. Then again, I think, why should Fortune 500 firms have all the fun? Why can't I join in on the biggest business trend of the new century? Why can't I outsource my low-end tasks? Why can't I outsource my life?

Turns out, there ain't no reason he can't.

(Link via Kottke.org.)

They Hate our Freedom - also the Occupation

William Arkin, the Washington Post's military-affairs columnist has a good new wonky blog on that topic, which he interprets widely enough to respond at length and with some venom to Bush's "major address" (aren't they all?) from last week. He makes some excellent points about the nature of the terra'ist threat - viz.,

[T]he President also said:
"Some have also argued that extremism has been strengthened by the actions of our coalition in Iraq, claiming that our presence in that country has somehow caused or triggered the rage of radicals. I would remind them that we were not in Iraq on September the 11th, 2001 -- and al Qaeda attacked us anyway. The hatred of the radicals existed before Iraq was an issue, and it will exist after Iraq is no longer an excuse."

This isn't the first time that the President has said that nothing in American policy is at the source of terror. In fact, to credit any "reasoning" behind the 9/11 attacks is so much against the mainstream discourse in Washington, I know to rebut this is to stand at the precipice of a false argument (and a trap) that somehow "blames" America for the attacks of 9/11.

But let's just deal with facts and the way that they are perceived in the against Baghdad. We were bombing Iraq regularly as part of our enforcement of the southern and northern no fly zones, and we were carrying out even larger bombing campaigns to support United Nations inspections or to exact unilateral retribution. We were doggedly maintaining sanctions until Iraq cried uncle. So yes, "the hatred of the radicals" existed before Iraq was an issue, mister President, but Iraq was an issue.

Playwrights kick Nobel Ass!

Which is to say: Harold Pinter just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Totally righteous!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Angelic: Sox Tie Series on Gift

Holy cow!!

All I can say is thank you. A strange extra out thanks to Doug Edding's call, A.J.'s heads up play and Joe Crede's line drive, leads to a much needed Sox win.

Bush on Miers' Orthodoxy

Okay, so W says that Harriet Miers' religiosity is important, if it's the right kind of religiosity:

President Bush sought again today to reassure conservatives about his Supreme Court nominee, Harriet E. Miers, and he said that Ms. Miers's religion was pertinent to the overall discussion about her.
That he can even get away with publicly invoking her religious beliefs in order to assuage the base is horrifying enough, but that he can apparently get away with it is even worse. I listened to NPR coverage all day and read a handful of MSM reports on this story, and nobody's really commenting on the fact that not only is the president endorsing a particular sort of religion - i.e., evangelical Protestant Christianity - but that he is also implicitly advocating that form of religion as the - not just a - best basis for a judicial philosophy and, by extension, for American courts and, indeed, the government.

In my view, this is crucial both because Bush is so carelessly and easily making an end run around the First Amendment even as he repeats Rove's talking points about "strictly interpreting the Constitution" and because Bush is finally saying what we always knew was true: if you ain't born again, you ain't nothing.

Hump-day Top 5 List

Skills. I have some, sure, but I wish I had a lot more. Recently, I was looking at some paintings a friend of mine is getting ready for an exhibit, and she was all freaking out that they were crap, nobody would like them, etc., etc., and I was like: I would kill to be able to produce works like that! So, today's list should answer the question: what are the top five skills you wish you had? These can be practical, world changing, or merely frivolous, I don't care. Let it rip. Here are mine:

1. Fluency in multiple languages (German, French, Italian, Chinese, and Japanese would be nice).

2. The ability to shake my ass like Shakira. That would rule.

3. Perfect pitch.

4. Expertise in welding.

5. Photographic memory.

What's on your list?

Wednesday Read 'ems

Hump-day top 5 is coming shortly, but in the meantime, here are some good reads from elsewhere.

Firedoglake has all you need to know about recent developments in Plamegate.

Lance Mannion has an very interesting post about Dear Leader, ADD, and alcholism.

Jesse Jackson writes an extremely impassioned and important op-ed piece for the Sun-Times on why progressives need to keep paying attention to Katrina reconstruction efforts.

Read and learn, read and learn.

Right = Wrong = Right

Even the CIA is criticizing the White House. Four former analysts write, of the run-up to the Iraq War, that,

In an ironic twist, the policy community [in the White House] was receptive to technical intelligence (the weapons program), where the analysis was wrong, but apparently paid little attention to intelligence on cultural and political issues (post-Saddam Iraq), where the analysis was right.
Doesn't the Bible say something about what's due to happen when black is white and white is black?

Link via today's Daily Progress Report.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Is it wrong that I think this is so, so awesome?



The Telegraph:
The people of Belgium have been left reeling by the first adult-only episode of the Smurfs, in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes.

The short but chilling film is the work of Unicef, the United Nations Children's Fund, and is to be broadcast on national television next week as a campaign advertisement.

The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom- shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

Tiny Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

The final frame bears the message: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."


Seriously. Belgians are WEIRD.

Who says boys don't play with dolls?

Sex dolls, that is. There's been a lot of buzz in the blogosphere this morning about a Salon article chronicling the - to me - quite disturbing habits of "Real Doll" owners. Shakes Sis is bothered by the artificial standards of beauty that even (I would say, especially) dolls have to conform to; Amanda is grossed out, but also sees this as an example of how patriarchy hurts men, too; and Feministing feels just plain creeped. Their responses are pretty easy to understand when you read quotes like these:


According to Davecat and many other Real Doll owners, sex with a Real Doll is quite good. "For the most part, it's just like sex with an organic woman ... who doesn't say anything and is brimful of Quaaludes," Davecat writes.
[...]
Aside from Sidore [a doll], Davecat has never officially dated anyone. He compares his interaction with women to a bodily reaction, something over which he has no control, much as he wishes that he could meet a woman who breathes. "People who are allergic to roses can enjoy artificial roses," he says. "In the same way, artificial women serve the same purpose for men who are, in whatever way, allergic to real women."

Or the truly scary stories from Fiero, a doll "doctor":

Some of Fiero's stories are the stuff of horror films. He once got an e-mail from two garbage collectors who found a Real Doll hacked to pieces in a dumpster. One owner sent Fiero a mutilated corpse of a doll. "The jaw in the doll was still in her skull, but behind her neck. Her hands were ripped off and fingers were missing. Her left breast was hanging on by a thread of skin, like your bra strap," he tells me, gesturing at my shoulder.

Another time, an Asian undergraduate student at a university in California dropped his 1-year-old doll off for repairs. Fiero says the young man told him that his parents bought him the doll so that he would stay at home and study rather than go out chasing women. Fiero's photographs of the damaged doll make me cringe: Her leg was torn off, revealing the steel hardware of her hip joints; an arm hung by an inch of silicone flesh; two fingers were severed; and the cleavage between her buttocks was torn into a ragged crevasse.

"Her vagina was so blown out," Fiero told me. "I was appalled. I couldn't believe someone could fuck something like that up so quickly. It blew me away. How could somebody be so callous?


Reading this stuff, it's hard to be objective about these dolls. Many of their users claim that they're no different from a subscription to Playboy or a woman's use of a vibrator, but I guess I'm not convinced. With so much attention given to the physical details of the dolls, to the cues that this is a "real" body, this trend seems much more about finding a substitute for real humans than an aid to sexual expression. I'm all for people being able to express their fantasies in a safe manner when possible, but I would definitely have second - and third and fourth - thoughts about a man if I found out he had a "True Doll." What do you all think? Creepsville, or harmless sex aid? Read the article and let me know.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Plagues: Hurricanes, Flu, and Bush

I've been musing lately on a biggish post tying all the recent and ongoing disasters - the occupation of Iraq, Katrina and its aftermath, the recent weak call for fuel conservation, the sharpening investigation of Rove's role in the Plame affair, and now the bird-flu panic - into a portrait of our president as, really, a failed liberal, a politician who, like 1960s liberals such as JFK and LBJ, dreamed big with nation-building in the Middle East and reshaping American society along "faith-based" lines, blah blah blah, but who has now been punished as badly or worse by the law of unintended consequences as those durned lib'rawls were back in the day.

I'll bracket that post for now in favor of posting this indispensable piece by journalist Tom Engelhardt which does much of that work for me by connecting global climate change, Katrina, and such minor issues as the collapse of civilizations. Minus: The piece uses that hackneyed "tipping point" idea that is so. played. out. Plus: Engelhardt also reprints a recent piece by Mike Davis.

Anyhow, read Engelhardt's piece and cringe. We're in a bad way, people.

(Thanks to my friend Matt for the tip to Engelhardt's blog.)

What can I get for $200 Billion?

Look at the ticker/counter to the left of the screen. The cost of the Iraq war broke the $200 Billion mark. And you said it couldn't be done. Silly.

Um, well, yeah... not much more to say about that feel-good stat.

Stop. Thief!! An MMR Production

This seemed tailor made for a Matt's Monday Rant. When I went to let the dog out this morning, I noticed that our back gate, garage access and garage door were all open. My bike was gone and a different, crappy bike was leaning against our garage in the alley. I was in a primer/paint chemical-induced haze all weekend (I've moved on from painting the garage to painting the upstairs bathroom), so this furthered my hangover. Man alive, I was so pissed off. Of course when my blood starts boiling ... My Irish was up. My primitive Rockford desires surfaced- maim, destroy, kill, retaliate, destroy some more, listen to Cheap Trick, smash, overkill… Matt angry!!! Matt smash. But, there was no perpetrator in sight and I was without my staple gun and ball peen hammer. OK, what to do. Matt call cops. Matt calm down. So, I call the Minneapolis police - the operator was professional and I could tell that she didn't want to talk about the White Sox sweeping the BoSox. So, I said that I had a non-emergency call and explained what had happened. About 20 minutes later Officer K (not his/her real name) showed up. The interaction with Officer K could be seen as neg-entropy for this rant. Officer K was kind, professional and efficient. A throw back to the police officers that used to coach my little league baseball team or the ones that told us to not talk to strangers or lick the Mr. Bill stamps.

So the rant is for the bike thief. While I have had retarded, crack smoking hookers living on my block*, the image of the thief seems to be Tom DeLay with a Dubbya snicker - fuck all! WTF? Argh!!! I'm sure you're upset now with that image. Why the hell would you, Dubbya Delay, trespass and steal my bike? On top of it you leave a crappy Murray mountain bike next to our garage. Insult to insult. You worthless piece of shit!! I don't know if your mommy didn't love you or your daddy loved you too much - and frankly, I don't care. You have inconvenienced me, on a Monday, before work. Insult to mental injury. I'm already bracing for the depressing day as a cubicle jockey. You have taken something that doesn't belong to you and you've made me late for work. I hope that loose neck on the bike came undone as you rode off into the night, gleefully celebrating what ever common thieves and shitheads celebrate. I hope to see your twitching body laying next my bike as come home from work today. Oh, joy - you've broken your neck doing something you shouldn't do. Almost as funny as people hurting themselves as they try to get someone's attention. As you lie there, with the cuter pitter-patter of involuntary muscle spasms, I might say, "hey Twitchy, what's up?" Now, Twitchy, what to do with you? Do I go Silence of the Lambs on you (it puts the bike in the garage or gets the hose again)? Or perhaps Un Chien Andalou (with a nod to Frank Black, slicing up eyeballs oh, ho, ho, ho!!). Whether a street level, under-educated, piece of foul filth, or a white collared privileged government SOB, you're ruining this country. Your personal gain, however small and titillating makes America a worse place to live. You and John Grisham and Danny Bonaduce!!! Jesus Christ, who gave the green light to Breaking Bonaduce? Anyways, you're evil. I've had nearly five years of a job and a president I didn't want. For the love of all that is holy, please do not upset me.

Any advice on the best time to buy a bike - fall closeout or spring sales?


*Two years ago there was a woman who appeared to be mentally challenged and lived in an apartment building on our block. If you slowed your car down while she was outside, she would stumble towards you. Pam and I slowed down one day (because there's a stop sign and we live on very narrow street), the woman starts to stumble towards us. I mentioned that it seemed like she may be retarded, high, or a hooker. That didn't go over well. However, after talking to our local SAFE officer, it turned out that she was "d - all of the above." Ah, urban living.

Best. Obituary. EVER.

Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section), 1700 S. Harlem Ave., Chicago. In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans.

(via Buzzflash)

MMR: Theives & Cops

Today's rant is developing...
This morning I found that someone had broken into our garage and took my bike. So, now I wait for the police.

Was it the crack addict, in the alley, with the stench?

Friday, October 07, 2005

Friday Poetry Blogging

No particular reason for posting this poem this week; I just am blown away by the power of its imagery, and how it reveals Circe's essential viciousness. This is one of the things I like most about poetry - how it can distill and reveal aspects of well worn tropes that make them brand new again. Anyway, I hope you like it.

Circe's Grief
by Louise Glück

In the end, I made myself
Known to your wife as
A god would, in her own house, in
Ithaca, a voice
Without a body: she
Paused in her weaving, her head turning
First to the right, then left
Though it was hopeless of course
To trace that sound to any
Objective source: I doubt
She will return to her loom
With what she knows now. When
You see her again, tell her
This is how a god says goodbye:
If I am in her head forever
I am in your life forever.

Quote of the Day

Kurt Vonnegut to USA Today:

"What do you want to talk about? Politics? Our president is a complete twit. I'll talk about the death of the novel. I'll talk about anything you want."

(via Bookslut)

The Ig Nobel Prizes

Screw the Nobels - If your research is really cool, you get an Ig Nobel, awarded each year to scholars, inventors and thinkers who "first make people laugh, and then make them think." My favorites from this year's crop:

AGRICULTURAL HISTORY: James Watson of Massey University, New Zealand, for his scholarly study, "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley’s Exploding Trousers."

MEDICINE: Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, for inventing Neuticles -- artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness.

LITERATURE: The Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and then using e-mail to distribute a bold series of short stories, thus introducing millions of readers to a cast of rich characters -- General Sani Abacha, Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha, Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq., and others -- each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled and which they would like to share with the kind person who assists them.

PEACE: Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University, in the U.K., for electrically monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie "Star Wars."

There's something ... familiar ... about this ...

From Radio Free Europe's newswire (emphases mine):

Female Lawyer With No Judicial Experience Picked For Top Court Spot
The Federation Council confirmed on 5 October Yelena Valyavina for the post of first deputy chairman of the Higher Arbitration Court, "Kommersant-Daily" reported on 6 October. According to the daily, Valyavina graduated from President Putin's alma mater, the law school at Leningrad State University, and in 1994 she was a specialist for the housing committee of the St. Petersburg mayoral administration, where Putin was also working at the time. Valyavina is also a classmate of presidential-administration head Dmitrii Medvedev and worked with the current chairman of the court, Anton Ivanov, in St. Petersburg's Justice Department at the end of the 1990s. Like Ivanov, Valyavina also had no prior experience as a judge before being appointed to the Higher Arbitration Court. Dmitrii Fursov, deputy chairman of Moscow Oblast's Arbitration Court, is challenging Valyavina's appointment in court, arguing that he won a competition for the position. Fursov has 10 years' experience on the court and a Ph.D. in jurisprudence.

Huh. Well, I guess we know now who's mentoring Dubya in his presidential dooties. (Thanks to Laura for the link.)

Five Words

That I didn't hear this week, except in my nightmares about the 160-odd weeks before this one:

5. Messaging
4. Showstopper
3. Stakeholder
2. Leveraging
1. Impactful

Contrapuntally, I did talk with my boss about the labyrinth at the meeting of the nave and the narthex in Chartres Cathedral. Quite a bit different than talking about, say, disaffected ex-learners and their grudge websites.

He's on a Mission from God

From the BBC:

President George W Bush told Palestinian ministers that God had told him to invade Afghanistan and Iraq - and create a Palestinian State. [snip] Nabil Shaath says: "President Bush said to all of us: 'I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, "George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan." And I did, and then God would tell me, "George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq …" And I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, "Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East." And by God I'm gonna do it.'"

I don't know what's sadder - that our president is talking this nonsense, or that it actually might shore up his support with the base. Either way, I can't wait till He gets to the good commands: "George, release that video of you and the missus in flagrante delicto. George, ask Rumsfeld if you can see his Donald. George, tell Karl to go eat his weight in walnuts. George, have one sip of beer. G'on - just one."

Now THIS is the kind of advice column I can get behind

As the daughter of three - count 'em, three! - professional philosophers, I was raised along the principle that philosophy is as much a lifestyle as it is an academic discipline. We did syllogisms at the dinner table for fun. Like, when I was 8. That kind of family. So I'm probably biased and all, but I still think this is pretty frickin' cool: a philosophy prof at Amherst College has created AskPhilosophers.org, a site where any average Joe or Jane can ask questions and get a philosophical answer. There's a quite impressive list of panelists, and every question is reviewed, though not all are posted. So far the topics range from art, to ethics, to metaphysics and beyond - including my favorite question, which compares time to a bowl of jello with fruit in it. Awesome. Go check it out!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Peanuts over Kids

Late last month, Sonny Perdue, the governor of Georgia, ordered the state's public schools to close for a couple days to save allegedly-scarce diesel fuel that would be better (?) used by the state's farmers to bring in their crops. Turns out ol' Sonny didn't think this one up. Acccording to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution,

Just hours before Gov. Sonny Perdue decided to close public schools to save fuel, industry lobbyists met with top administration aides to suggest sacrificing the school days to make sure farmers in South Georgia had enough diesel fuel to harvest their crops.

"The suggestion they made was to call for school snow days or holidays to free up diesel fuel supply in the region," according to a summary of the conference call reviewed by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

"They feel that the farmers should take priority over the schools in use of fuel."

According to the summary, which was e-mailed to the governor about noon on Sept. 23, the lobbyists said closing schools would save about 225,000 gallons of diesel a day. Perdue cited that figure at a 4 p.m. news conference to announce that schools would close to conserve fuel.
I'm not sure any of this really matters as an instance of regular capital trumping social capital, as more proof that our elected officials are beholden to corporate interestes more than voters (see this for the Minnesota equivalent: school-year start dates versus resort owners' need for cheap labor), or even as a tempest in a teacup, but it's kinda funny and suggests some good campaign slogans: "Sonny Perdue: He's for kids, but not as much as peanuts."

Prexifying

So Bush gave one of his rare press conferences today. According to the Times,

A senior White House official said Thursday evening that the President's 40-minute speech about Al Qaeda and Iraq arose from Mr. Bush's desire to remind Americans, after "a lot of distractions" in recent months, that the country was still under threat, and had no choice but to remain in Iraq so Al Qaeda did not use it as a base to train for attacks on the United States and its allies.
"A lot of distractions." That's a funny way to characterize the biggest natural disaster in American history, real or imminent indictments against Congressional allies and White House aides, disapproval from nearly two-thirds of the American public, a Supreme Court nominee who seems likely to face a difficult or even impossible confirmation, the continued degeneration of the Iraq War itself, a gathering Islamist insurgency in Afghanistan, and my own sick-kid & new-job/city/house circumstances. Thanks a lot, Dubya.

For me, the sound bite in the ass was this line, delivered in W's patented staccato style: "We never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete victory." Sure. W, not only are you much more George H.W. Bush than Ronald Reagan, you're much more Marion Morrison than John Wayne.

Sweet Home Chicago: ChiSox 2, BoSox 0

Things weren't looking good last night until Graffinino (which is Latin for cries like a little boy) did his best Billy Buck impression and David Wells was distracted by thoughts of a grilled Polish sausage with onions. But wait, there was something else wafting in the air. What could it be? The picture below shows Wells searching for the source of the smell. Turns out it was sulfur and gunpowder as Iguchi had set off the exploding scoreboard with a 3-run shot to take the lead. Others described the smell as the hopes of idiots going up in flames.

You can put it on the board, YES!!!


Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Off to Boston to take on Wakefield's knuckleball. His pitching seems to be an all or nothing proposition. Can the White Sox hold on to win their first playoff series in 88 years or will the weight of Chicago baseball futility hold them back?

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

La Holmes is expecting

Am I the only one who thinks there was some freaky Scientology insemination procedure going on here? Cuz I'm not buying the loving relationship/genital penetration thing.

Anyway, this is just to say: Katie, I hope the post-partum depression doesn't run in your family, hon. I really, really do.

Hump-Day Top 5 List, evening edition

Oy. I'm tired, stressed, and cranky. Things that sound good right now include: a caribbean vacation, an hour long massage, a winning lottery ticket, and a stiff drink. Or two. Or, heck, five. So: what are your top five happy-hour beverages? Here are mine:

1. Bourbon and coke. My standard order, always nummy.

2. Cosmopolitan. And I was ordering these looooong before Sex and the City, so quit with the sneering!

3. Margarita. Mmmmm ... tequila is so very very good.

4. Mint julep. It's like a mojito, only way fucking better.

5. Single malt scotch, on the rocks.

What's on your list?