After School Snack

So long, and thanks for all the fish

2008-01-07T11:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, Snackers!

So ... it's been a little quiet around here lately. We know. Used to be, we'd post 4-5 times a day, but over the last year or so it's been getting kind of sparse. It's not you, really. We swear. It's just ... we've changed, baby. Or rather, babies: all of us all have at least one now, and man, do they ever cut into the web-surfing, post-writing time that we enjoyed back in 2003 when we started this thing. Not to mention, we all have different jobs, and none of us are in the, shall we say, blogging-conducive work environment we shared when ASS was born. We've each been blogging in other places, too. Our focus has shifted, and the New Year seems like the right time to call it quits. This blog has had a good run - 2,524 posts, which ain’t bad - and made us some good friends both online and off. We've enjoyed the hell out of it, and our readers are dear to our hearts. We'll keep the blog up for the archives (at least for now), but if you want to read newer stuff you'll have to come and find us at our other bloggy locales. Please do – we’d like to see you there, and we think you’ll find some ASS-y stuff if you make the trip. Thanks for reading and commenting.

You can find Christopher at Blowing and Drifting.
You can find Matt at Sanctioning Agent.
You can find Elise at The Snarky Squab.
We don't know where you can find Alex.

Vaya con carne!

Perfect Holiday Diversion Part I

2007-12-17T12:09:00.000-08:00

So I take the kid to see Santa. I was pretty sure she wouldn't cry, but I didn't expect this look completely devoid of emotion. She get's her cynicism from her father.

For more fun with Santa, check out the "Scared of Santa" slideshow:

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/entertainment/holiday/sfl-scaredofsanta-ugc,0,7181908.ugcphotogallery

Perfect Holiday Diversion Part II

2007-12-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

As a child, my older cousins would make me fight their next door neighbors, who were twins my same age (I assume they're still twins and still my age). I think that experience paid off. What's your score?

Avoid Swedish Operations

2007-12-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

Woman catches fire during hemorrhoid operation.

Ugh, yuck, and ouch.

Xmas controversies: how do YOU top your tree?

2007-12-11T18:56:00.000-08:00

When I was little, we always had an elaborate angel topping our tree. You know: the kind with the stiffened muslin fabric skirt, the flowing plaster or resiny hair and the outstretched arms. Very biblical, very New Testament, very classical Christmas. After my parents split, my mom kept the angel and my dad switched to a traditional Austrian tree topper. We had ones made of wood and ones made of glass, but they all had that sort of pointed finial shape to them, kind of an extension of the tree top itself. Now, as the oldest child, I tend to carry on the traditions of my childhood with fierce devotion. You know, certain traditions just cannot be messed with: the tree has to be real, there cannot be tinsel, certain ornaments go in certain places, etc. But when it comes to tree-toppers, I have eschewed the angels and finials of my youth for a more gloriously over-the-top option:

Yes, the lighted star. It even blinks, if I want it to, which I mostly don't. Why do I like the star so much? Well, for one thing: SHINY! (I'm a bit of a magpie like that.) But also, dude: when you were a kid and you drew a picture of a Christmas tree, what did you always put at the top? A star, right? WELL THERE YOU GO. Christmas is one of the few times of the year when I feel it's OK to integrate a little tacky, gilded, sentimental, crass gaudiness. Heck, I EMBRACE it this time of year. 'Tis the season, right? And the star atop my tree hits the perfect note. What about you? What's on top of your tree? (Or, if you don't have one, what WOULD you top a tree with, if you did?)

Stinkiest Onion Piece Ever

2007-12-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

Horrible. It would only have been horribler if they worked in a Christmas-spirit angle:

ALBANY, NY—In one of the most merciful disasters in recent years, a Greyhound bus traveling from Rochester to Albany, NY skidded into a ditch Tuesday, killing a dozen deadbeat fathers and penniless addicts, and putting nearly 20 more hapless bastards out of their misery.

According to Greyhound officials, the fatal crash occurred less than an hour after passengers gathered their pathetic belongings and dragged what little hope they had left onto the despair-soaked bus. Emergency crews called to the scene described the remains of the victims as "slightly more lifeless than they were before the accident."
"This is by far the saddest thing I've ever witnessed," said head rescue worker Charles Rabnett, referring to the sea of fast-food wrappers, losing lottery tickets, and scorched corpses that littered the crash site. "We've done our best to contact family members and loved ones, but so far we've only been able to reach four parole officers and 10 AA sponsors."

Added Rabnett: "Dear God, what a terrible waste of my time."
...
No survivors were reported following the accident. In addition, initial surveillance of the wreckage seems to indicate that those who managed to pull their world-weary bodies out of the overturned bus, gave up on their wretched existence within minutes. According to paramedics, it is likely that many of the casualties had suffered during the crash, and, if not then, for years earlier...
"It's hard to believe that something like this could even happen," said Albany resident Carl Robinson, who, since losing his home to a fire earlier this month, has been sleeping in the city's dilapidated bus station. "To know that life, no matter how dreadful or hopeless, always has a chance of coming to an end—it's so inspiring."

Gomboc

2007-12-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

Sunday's Time Magazine had a short article about the Gömböc, an object which - without a motor, counterweight, or any other assistance - can right itself from any position. Originally nothing more than speculation by a mathematician in Russia, two Hungarian scientists subsequently devised the actual, physical object. It's not much to look at, but when you watch it tip back and forth as it rights itself, you get the sense of something magical happening. (You can see the video by going to the inventors' website.)

For just 1001 Euros ($1450 or so), I could buy my own Gömböc with my birth year for a serial number. Maybe next year, when the Chinese have knocked it off.

Fjuckby

2007-12-10T08:14:00.001-08:00

Readers have surely been waiting to hear more about the Swedes who have to live in the town of Fjuckby:

The hapless inhabitants of Fjuckby have lost the last chance they had of changing the name of their village to something less suggestive of sexual intercourse.

On Thursday, the National Land Survey of Sweden - the government agency responsible for the handling of place names - announced that it was following the recommendation of the Institute of Language and Folklore to preserve the name Fjuckby.

"Preserve" here meaning, "to saddle the townspeople with." More:

Fjuckby is saddled with the dual misfortune of containing both the rude Swedish word 'juck' and its more internationally recognizable English equivalent.

Speaking to The Local in February, Flensburg said she was surprised by the folklore institute's resistance to a name change since the alternative, Fjukeby, was "pretty and nice".

Fjuckby and Fjukeby both translate roughly as 'Windy Village'.

Shot Through the Leg and You're to Blame

2007-12-06T10:13:00.000-08:00

Dave Zirin, one of the only pinko sportswriters in the business, offers an interesting analysis of the media furor over the murder of football player Sean Taylor:

Media illusion or not, we felt we knew Sean Taylor—and have wept for his family and their loss. There is nothing wrong with this. If anything, we’ve borne witness to people’s capacity to reach out and care.

BUT NOT everyone felt the better angels of their nature emerge. Within hours—minutes—of Taylor’s death, a collection of sportswriters tried to turn this tragedy into to a brazenly racist “life lesson.” They speculated that Taylor effectively got what he deserved, the fruits born of a “thug life.”

Never mind that Taylor was the son of a police chief who attended the same private schools as the Florida wing of the Bush family. The narrative of a young Black athlete dying by gunfire was too succulent to resist. The callous copy ran rampant, and this time went beyond Fox Sports Jason Whitlock’s easily dismissible, painfully predictable hot air...

The hypocrisy is breathtaking. If Taylor was white, imagine how this story would be played out: “Hero tragically dies defending his family in home invasion.” Instead, we get yet another example of how sports has become an absolute trash receptacle of racism over the past several years: an acceptable place for troglodytic writers and announcers to yip about “hip hop culture” and “thug life,” being the rot at the heart of professional athletics.

Bless You!

2007-12-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

All about sneezing,, which can expel snot and spit at up to 100 mph.

Getting the Skinny

2007-12-05T09:50:00.001-08:00

An interesting new website, ZipSkinny, lets you get basic demographic information on any zip code and to compare up to 20 zip codes. Here's part of the data on mine:

Primary Decisions

2007-11-28T14:28:00.000-08:00

Well. This may just have solidified my decision as to whom I'll vote for in the upcoming primaries. (I admit I was leaning in that direction, anyway.) Check it:

Manchester, NH – Today, Senator John Edwards outlined his bold policies for a more family-friendly America with universal paid family and medical leave, universal pre-kindergarten for four-year-olds, more affordable care for other children and job benefits for independent workers. Among the most significant policy proposals of the Edwards plan is for at least eight weeks of paid family and medical leave that will help American workers balance their jobs and their families.

If you can stand the PR-speak, check out the whole press release. Universal paid leave and Pre-K + subsidized childcare = music to my ears. And should be music to everyone's ears, of course, since those little rugrats will one day be deciding how nice your nursing home care is. Among other things. I'm not super confident that Edwards will get the nod, but policies like this make it pretty easy for me to give him my vote.

Wednesday Lyric Blogging - Woody Guthrie

2007-11-28T10:58:00.001-08:00

In a bit of a progressive nod to Christopher's post on the left lean of the academy, this edition of Wednesday Lyric Blogging is for Woodie Guthrie.

All You Fascists
Lyrics by Woodie Guthrie
Performed by Billy Bragg & Wilco

I’m gonna tell you fascists
You may be surprised
The people in this world
Are getting organized
You’re bound to lose
You fascists bound to lose

Race hatred cannot stop us
This one thing we know
Your poll tax and Jim Crow
And greed has got to go
You’re bound to lose
You fascists bound to lose.

All of you fascists bound to lose

I said, all of you fascists bound to lose
Yes sir, all of you fascists bound to lose
You’re bound to lose! You fascists
Bound to lose!

People of every color
Marching side to side
Marching ‘cross these fields
Where a million fascists dies
You’re bound to lose
You fascists bound to lose!

I’m going into this battle
And take my union gun
We’ll end this world of slavery
Before this battle’s won
You’re bound to lose
You fascists bound to lose!

The Liberal Academy

2007-11-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

If you're even tangentially part of the academy, you're probably aware of the eternal debate over whether and why American colleges and universities are so politically liberal. Myself, I think that American higher education is laudably, permanently liberal (though often in some pretty shallow ways) largely because the goals of liberalism as a political movement are so directly related to the goals of higher education - for instance, equipping people to think critically, rather than reverently, about those who hold political, social, economic, or some other kind of power, and to act to alter present arrangements of power, rather than simply maintain them.

A new study proposes that one reason conservatives are underrepresented in the academy is that people who are politically conservative prefer to either get jobs right out of college (rather than pursue PhDs) or to start families (again, rather than pursue PhDs). Interesting stuff:

The study — “Left Pipeline: Why Conservatives Don’t Get Doctorates” — argues that the much debated minority status for conservatives in higher education may be the result of differing priorities of graduating college seniors of different political persuasions. The study presents evidence that conservatives are significantly more likely than liberals — at the point when college students decide whether to apply to graduate school — to value raising a family and having money. In contrast, liberals at that point in their lives are significantly more likely to value writing original works.

The authors of the study do not dispute that conservatives are a distinct minority in academe and that the imbalance is problematic. They also hold open the possibility — much proclaimed by other authors at the conference of the American Enterprise Institute where all of the work was presented — that there may be bias against conservatives (although they question whether this has been proven). But the authors of the work on the pipeline say there is considerable evidence that could show conservative self-selection out of academic careers.

Wednesday Lyric Blogging – Thanksgiving Edition

2007-11-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Song Lyrics
Adam Sandler

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey lurkey doo and
Turkey lurkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap

Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite
That's right
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can't believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can't believe Tyson
Gave that girl V.D.

White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I'll never take down
My Cheryl Tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother likes to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Skyway or the Highway

2007-11-20T07:32:00.001-08:00

I loved the skyways when I worked in downtown Minneapolis - until I had to walk through them after normal business hours. *shudder* Two well-known urban designers think they're a blight on the city.

When two of the world's top urban designers drop in for a visit and come away with the impression that your city — in this case Minneapolis — is a relic of the 1970s, ill-equipped to thrive and compete in a new century, and that its only hope is to tear down its skyways, well, that gets your attention.

"I feel sorry for Minneapolis," said Jan Gehl, the celebrated Danish architect whose work around the world has linked the rising importance of good public spaces to a city's success.

Thirty years ago, Minneapolis was thought to be a leader among winter cities. But taking people off the streets and putting them upstairs, "under glass," hasn't worked in Minneapolis or anywhere else, Gehl said, to the point that Minneapolis is no longer "up to the beat of the world-class cities of the 21st century."

Gil Penalosa, a noted public parks developer in both Latin America and Canada, said that the skyways lend a defensive, pessimistic air to the downtown core when, in reality, they are needed for only a few weeks of the year. "They suck the public life out of the city," he said.

Given the fat chance that Minneapolis will remove its eight miles of skyways, both men agreed that finding a solution poses one of the toughest design challenges faced by any city in the world: creating vitality at street level when most foot traffic has been shifted to the second story.

The biggest problem, both said, is that people in Minneapolis don't realize that great cities — even cold cities — are now defined by the vitality of their street life. "People here don't see a crisis," said Gehl. "They don't yet see themselves as behind the times."

Finnegan's Wake, the Picture

2007-11-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

Envisioning works of fiction as images is a challenge (unless they're graphic novels, I suppose). But here is a fascinating attempt by Hungarian Bauhaus artist László Moholy-Nagy to represent Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. I guess Ulysses was too easy.

The Guardian has much more on Moholy-Nagy, a brilliant designer and artist who could also toss off some good lines: "It is not the person ignorant of writing but the one ignorant of photography who will be the illiterate of the future."

Wednesday Lyric Blogging

2007-11-14T23:59:00.000-08:00

Last night I was flipping through iTunes and started listening to some of my old Cracker albums. Listening to David Lowery made me think about Camper Van Beethoveen and I thought, “I need an upbeat, absurd, fun song. From there, “Take the Skinheads Bowling” was obvious. Bonus: You Tube of the video from MTV’s 120 Minutes.

"Take the Skinheads Bowling"
by Camper Van Beethoveen
from Telephone Free Landslide Victory

Everyday I get up and pray to Jah
And he increases the number of clocks by exactly one
Everybody's coming home for lunch these days
Last night there were skinheads on my lawn

Chorus: Take the skinheads bowling, take them bowling.
Take the skinheads bowling, take them bowling.

Some people say that bowling alleys have big lanes (have big lanes X 2)
Some people say that bowling alleys all look the same (all the same X 2)
There's not a line that goes here that rhymes with same (anything X 2)
Had a dream last night but I forgot what it was about (what it was X 2)

(chorus)

Had a dream last night about you my friend
Had a dream I wanted to sleep next to plastic
Had a dream I wanted to lick your knees
Had a dream it was about nothing

(chorus)
(chorus)

I Swear

2007-11-14T18:39:00.000-08:00

Linguistic and cognitive scientist Steven Pinker on why swearing matters and why we should care about it. Fucking brilliant.

Wednesday Lyric Blogging (Belated)

2007-11-08T13:49:00.001-08:00

Well, I seem to have misplaced my mind. A weekend that involved a visit from the mother-in-law, a great wedding with a reception filled too many White Russians (while the wedding was in “nordeast” Minneapolis, I’m talking about the drink), and the end of this new daylight savings time jibber-jabber, bled into a day off of work, and another day of working from home. The net result is that it’s Thursday, not Wednesday. On top of that I can be somewhat forgetful.

As Kyle aptly pointed out, today would be a great day for "Where is My Mind?" Hell yeah. In high school Surfer Rosa was a breathe of fresh air (and a nice album cover or so I thought). So in a nod to forgetfulness and great alternative power pop, here we go.

Where is my Mind?
Performed by Pixies
Written by Chris Thompson/ Black Francis/Frank Black

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

Way out in the water
See it swimmin'

I was swimmin' in the Caribbean
Animals were hiding behind the rocks
Except the little fish
But they told me, he swears
Tryin' to talk to me, coy koi.

Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

Way out in the water
See it swimmin' ?

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
If there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

Oh
With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Oh
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Oh
Oh

Why the Modern World Sucks

2007-11-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Things like this are invented with a straight face:

Via Engadget.

Blogger in Costume

2007-10-31T05:30:00.000-07:00

A member of my household is wearing the guest-blogger costume at a cool online mothering magazine, MotherVerse, right now. Go see!

Wednesday Lyric Blogging – Wedding Edition

2007-10-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

This week’s edition of Lyric Blogging is a fun one – “I Want You To Want Me” by power popsters and my home town heroes Cheap Trick. According to a Diet Coke commercial, this gem is perhaps one of the best pop songs ever recorded. EVER! And who’s going to argue with a commercial for a product that contains phenylalanine and aspertame? Not me, that’s science. For the record, so to speak, the live versions, especially Budokan, are much better than the studio version from In Color. Bun E.'s drums are not well served in the studio on that album.

This song is rumored to be on the band’s set list for the reception celebrating the wedding of Eric & Rin. Best wishes to them for a wonderful, happy, and AWESOME life together.

I Want You To Want Me
Performed by Cheap Trick
Lyrics by Rick Nielsen

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up my old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I'll shine up my old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.

Star Wars Trumpet Solo -- Oh Yeah!

2007-10-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Googled to Death

2007-10-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

I lovingly use a half-dozen Google products every day (like the one I'm using right now), but this interview with Siva Vaidhyanathan is kind of a buzzkill. Vaidhyanathan is writing an online book, The Googlization of Everything, to analyze the pervasiveness and power of Google, "the most interesting institution in the world right now." He claims that Google

is working its way into our consciousness and daily lives at a remarkable rate that is unmatched by any company in human history. And it is doing so in a fairly novel way through the aggregation of our choices. We are choosing to use Google every day. We are not forced or seduced into using it. It actually means Google is laying out a new model for advertising and communication.

That's interesting, and a bit scary. Wholly scary, and just as interesting, is this:

We can't expect a company to be as transparent as the government is. That doesn't mean we shouldn't push at it to be more responsive to our concerns, especially about user confidentiality and privacy. That is the hot-button issue. Most of us are not Google's customers. We are its content. It sells our attention and our user data to its customers and they are all the businesses that advertise with Google. Google is not necessarily more secretive than Coca-Cola, but the difference is Google knows everything about us.

*gulp*

Wednesday Lyric Blogging: Dear Prudence

2007-10-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

It’s a beautiful day in Minneapolis, “the sun is up, the sky is blue.” So today’s lyrics are from Lennon & McCartney, apparently they had a couple of hits or something. As a kid, I listened to my dad’s Beatles records quite a bit. I remember being fascinated with the packaging of the White Album, especially the pictures of each of the Beatles inside.

Dear Prudence
The Beatles (aka The White Album)
Lyrics: John Lennon, credited to Lennon & McCartney

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out and play

Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

Look around round
Look around round round
Look around

Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?

He just went GAY all of a sudden!

2007-10-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

So: Dumbledore is gay.

I gotta say, that rings absolutely true to me, though I wouldn't have thought about it if Rowling hadn't said anything. I LOVE that she said it when and how she did, because you better believe she knew the kind of uproar it would cause, and I love that she thought it was more important to give a kid an honest answer than to protect herself and her books from bigoted assholes. JK, you are one classy dame.

(50 bonus points if you get the reference in the post title.)

R-Suicideville

2007-10-22T07:17:00.001-07:00

Love it.

The Republican candidates for president of the United States sharply escalated their attacks on one another, clashing over which of them is the most conservative, most experienced and most electable in a debate that one likened to a "demolition derby."

The debate Sunday night stood out for the intensity and personal nature of the exchanges as Republicans tried to distinguish themselves, a tactic that risked highlighting the unhappiness among conservatives with much of the field.

But as they scrimmaged, the leading candidates took even stronger aim at just one Democratic candidate: Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York. In addition to helping them score points with Republican voters, their attacks on Clinton may have the side effect of helping her score points with Democrats.

This situation disproves the maxim that the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Cosmetic Biking

2007-10-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

In a week when the Republicans decide they don't want to give poor kids health insurance, it's hard to find bigger jerks. Luckily, U.S. Representative Paul Ryan (R-WI) is doing double duty by bravely fighting the "Diversion of Funds From Bridges to Nonpriority Items"

At a time when the Nation’s roads and bridges need attention – as demonstrated by the recent collapse of a bridge in Minneapolis – the Federal Government continues to divert large amounts of money to bike paths and other cosmetic projects that could be funded locally.

It's good to know that bike paths - by reducing the number of cars on the road, improving public health through exercise, cutting pollution, breaking our oil addiction, and being generally good for property values and quality of life - are merely cosmetic.

I hope Rep. Ryan gets his tongue caught in a derailleur.

(Via Silent Sports Sounds Off.)

No Really

2007-10-18T17:12:00.000-07:00

Someday soon, I'll blog more frequently again, and choose a topic other than Radiohead, but for now, check out Pitchfork's review of In Rainbows, paying particular attention to the rating.

But do I have to move to South Carolina to vote for him?

2007-10-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

So by now I'm sure you've heard that Stephen Colbert has announced his candidacy for President of the US in South Carolina. Better yet, he's running as both a Democrat and a Republican, so there's truly something for everyone in this campaign. Thank god THAT decision is over. Now if I could just decide what to wear tomorrow ...

Wednesday Lyric Blogging - Wilco

2007-10-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

In a soft and loose way of honoring the 50th anniversary of On The Road, I thought that I’d pull one out of the ol' Wilco catalog. I can always find excuses to grab a Wilco or Radiohead song. “Passenger Side” is from Wilco’s first album A.M. The album generally, and this song specifically, highlight a very different band than the one we know today (both in roster and sound). They were far from abstract with the lyrics and had more of a alt-country, beer drinkin’, toe-tappin’ kind of feel.

The video below is Wilco joined by The Bottle Rockets.

"Passenger Side"

Hey, wake up, your eyes weren't open wide
For the last couple of miles you've been swerving from side to side
You're gonna make me spill my beer,
If you don't learn how to steer

Passenger side, passenger side,
I don't like riding on the passenger side

Roll another number for the road
You're the only sober person I know
Won't you let me make you a deal,
Just get behind the wheel

Passenger side, passenger side,
I don't like riding on the passenger side

Should've been the driver, could've been the one
I should've been your lover, but I hadn't seen...

Can you take me to the store, then the bank?
I've got five dollars we can put in the tank
I've got a court date coming this June
I'll be driving soon

Passenger side, passenger side,
I don't like riding on the passenger side
I don't like riding on the passenger side

Radiohead Shocker

2007-10-13T12:11:00.000-07:00

LONDON -- As Radiohead celebrated the news that In Rainbows went platinum in just three days, the oft-proclaimed "world's greatest band" was today rocked when its reclusive and little-used sixth member, singer-guitarist Lee Greenwood, announced that he would leave the band.

Holding an impromptu press conference just outside the security barriers at Heathrow, where he was catching a flight back to the “U.S. of A.,” Greenwood read from a prepared statement. "I love my brothers Jonny and Colin, but I was getting sick of their constant promises to put ‘God Bless the U.S.A.’ on the next album, and then never delivering. I even remixed the song with some of the e-lec-tronic stuff that Thom likes so much, but they still refused to put it on the Over the Rainbows [sic]. Something about 10 tracks on 10/10 or something. I wish Thom, Colin, Jonny, Ed, and Phil all the best, but frankly I am happy to finally strike out on my own and look forward to playing for audiences around the world.”

Folding the statement and picking up his guitar case, Greenwood added, “I hope this doesn't surprise too many fans, but it's been a long time comin'. I mean, you have to listen to OK Computer pretty hard to hear my vocals or strummin’. It's there, especially on ‘Lucky,’ but pretty deep in the mix, and I think it’s time for my voice to be up front and center. Plus, I have a line on a good tour of casinos in North Dakota, South Dakota, and Montana. When is Radiohead going to tour?”

The members of Radiohead could not be reached for comment.

Nobel for that guy that won the popular vote in 2000...

2007-10-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

...oh, and he won an Oscar. Congrats Al.

Makes one think that the "Family Guy" was on to something.

Balanced Dialogue, my ass

2007-10-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

You know what pisses me off? OK, a lot of things, but right this moment in particular? When well-meaning people take the concept of Presenting A Balanced Perspective to new levels of stoopid, that's what. Case in point: In my never-ending search for cheap or free activities to take the kid to, I've signed up for a weekly email from GoCityKids, which conveniently assembles local stuff and dumps it in my inbox for my perusal. I'm browsing this weekend's options and I stumble across this little entry:

The Great Global Warming Swindle
To foster a balanced dialogue within the community, the nature center presents a screening of The Great Global Warming Swindle, which offers an alternate viewpoint on global warming to An Inconvenient Truth, which the center showed earlier in the year. The 90-minute film is followed by a discussion. Children must be accompanied. Advance registration is required.

The location of this fine, balanced event? Why, the Westwood Hills Nature Center, of course! Because who has more interest in giving crackpots a bully pulpit than the very places those crackpot ideas will destroy? Gah. From the wording of the entry, it's clear that the Nature Center is showing this in a (misguided) effort to avoid the charge of ... what? Liberal bias, I guess. But this, of course, is absurd. Say the center presented a talk on, oh, the lifecycle of the salmon, for example. Would anyone expect them to offer equal time to a presentation called "The Great Salmon Swindle: They Really Swim Downstream"? OF COURSE NOT. Balanced dialogue means offering people or groups of differing opinions equal say. OPINIONS. Like, in circumstances where multiple valid viewpoints can be expressed. The tastiness of liver, say, or the possibility of a "just war." You can have a debate about these matters because it's possible to be rational and sane and still have differing viewpoints on them. You know what's not like that? GLOBAL WARMING.

Lit from Within

2007-10-11T06:51:00.000-07:00

Wow: if you are or ever have been a denizen of the Twin Cities, you must check out View from the Tundra, a new-ish photoblog about the cities, for stunning stuff like this:

(Via the Deets.)

Bob: A brief recap

2007-10-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm confident I made the right choice in shows tonight. Got there early, sat in the front row and enjoyed the Q&A (first topic was the Radiohead release and Bob thought that only Radiohead or U2 could pull that off) and the solo set. Bob autographed a poster and we discussed the merits of my iPhone case vs. his. Never thought I'd talk to him in my life, let alone about a mobile phone.

Bob Mould & Radiohead (and Wilco ran away with the Spoon)

2007-10-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

There’s a strange and wonderful convergence of pop culture for me today. To celebrate, I’m posting a double dose of lyrics. As I type this early on Tuesday night (like a kid waiting for his Christmas gifts -- if I go to bed now, when I wake up it will be tomorrow), I’m eagerly awaiting my download instructions for Radiohead’s new album In Rainbows. The industry is a buzz regarding Radiohead’s approach to selling the new album. It’s the 10th in the UK already – let’s get some download codes. So, that’s why I’m including Radiohead on today’s post.

Convergence Exhibit A: Bob Mould talking about the Radiohead release on his blog.
Convergence Exhibit B: Radiohead releases new album on October 10, the same day that Bob Mould will be at the Bryant Lake Bowl in Minneapolis.
Convergence Exhibit C: Besides Bob, Wilco (at the Northrop) and Spoon (at First Ave) are in town for shows. Too much. Too much I tell you!!!

Husker Du was one of my favorite bands in high school and college. The first song I ever played on my college radio show was Husker Du’s “59 Times the Pain.” Along with Soul Asylum and The Replacements, Husker Du are a large reason Minneapolis was ever on my radar and some how beat out the Windy City as place to call home. In college (and shortly after) my other favorite bands were Uncle Tupelo/Wilco and Radiohead. Ah favorites, where would we be without lists and a spirit of hierarchy? Without Billboard and half of VH1's programming, that's where!! Perhaps that's why I find this shirt so funny.

Back to Bob at the BLB. He’s doing a solo acoustic set along with a screening of his concert DVD. The BLB holds about 100 people in its theatre (and to add to the convergence, the BLB is about 6 blocks from home). I can’t wait. OK...OK (computer?) enough babble about convergence… What’s that Jesus Christ, George Harrison, Hendrix and Col. Sanders are giving a lecture at the Walker?

So the songs/lyrics I’ve selected for today are Husker Du’s “Chartered Trips” from Zen Arcade and Radiohead’s “Karma Police” From OK Computer. "Chartered Trips," as it’s on the DVD that will be screened and it has one of my favorite post-punk, molar-shaking guitar riff openings. "Karma Police" because it’s one of my favorite songs, the piano riffs evoke elements of The Beatles’ "Sexy Sadie" and OK Computer was released ten years ago.

Chartered Trips
Performed by Husker Du
Lyrics by Bob Mould

I picked up my belongings in a nylon carry-all
I hear the porter call
Said "The sky's the limit on this chartered trip away,"
I guess I'd better stay

Out there on the desert, I see trees on every wall
Nothing's ever solved
Said "The sky's the limit on this chartered trip away,"
Guess I'd better stay away

I thought I owed myself a trip away
I wanted to go to places I have never been away
I looked at the pictures, imagine where they lay
Away on a beach by the sand, where their clothes all lay away

Horizon is oblivious, chartered trip away
Said "There's no returning from this chartered trip away

Karma Police
Performed by Radiohead
Lyrics by Thom Yorke

Karma police, arrest this man
He talks in maths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio

Karma police, arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo is
Making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party

This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us

Karma Police
I've given all I can
It's not enough
I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll

This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us

And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself

For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself

Colbert on NPR

2007-10-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

Colbert was on NPR this afternoon. If you didn't hear it, you can get it here. Good stuff. Enjoy.

"Consuela and the Cheetah on 95.7 The Killer Bee."

RNC Logo

2007-10-05T21:27:00.001-07:00

As City Pages said, "Worst. Logo. Ever." Say it with me, everyone: "Wide stance."

Surely this is a comment on how the party will give it to the country elephant-style if they're put back in power in 2008.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2007-10-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, the '80s smarmy ballad. But, not for the Bonnie Tyler (Grammy nominated?!?!) version of Jim Steinman’s song. It’s simply an excuse to post a video of Norwegian supergroup Hurra Torpedo performing it in an ironic, art house masterful way. Damn, I wish I could play a deep freezer like that. Turn around bright eyes, indeed!

Total Eclipse of the Heart
Performed by Hurra Torpedo
Lyrics by Jim Steinman

Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

Good Money Afer Bad

2007-10-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

Last month, I read William Gibson's excellent new novel, Spook Country, the plot of which centers on the MacGuffin of a shipping container full of cash, making its way back from Iraq to the United States. It's a great book; read it.

First, though, read "Billions over Baghdad," an appalling piece by Donald L. Barlet and James B. Steele which describes how, with incredible naiveté and incompetence, the United States government transferred nearly $12 billion (with a B, as they say) to the non-government in Iraq in the months after we toppled Saddam. 12 billion bucks, entirely in cash.

By all accounts, the New York Fed and the Treasury Department exercised strict surveillance and control over all of this money while it was on American soil. But after the money was delivered to Iraq, oversight and control evaporated. Of the $12 billion in U.S. banknotes delivered to Iraq in 2003 and 2004, at least $9 billion cannot be accounted for. A portion of that money may have been spent wisely and honestly; much of it probably wasn't. Some of it was stolen.

There are too many fantastic, nauseating details in the piece to really do it justice, from the extra-legal existence of the CPA to the sheer physical dimensions of this much money. Viz.:

During the [Coalition Provisional Authority]'s little more than a year of life, the New York Federal Reserve Bank made 21 shipments of currency to Iraq totaling $11,981,531,000. All told, the Fed would ship 281 million individual banknotes, in bricks weighing a total of 363 tons.

726,000 pounds of cash, all belonging by law to the Iraqi people, now mostly gone into the hands of crooked American contractors, regular Iraqi crooks, insurgents and terrorists, and who knows whom else. Sick, and sicker for being just one example of the towering incompetence of the Bush administration.

Amazon, I still love you

2007-10-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

Our affair has been going on for about 10 years now. I've moved numerous times and you're still there for me. You let me experiment with others and like some po-mo Shel Silverstein fable, you keep giving. iTunes doesn't have your recommendation engine. E-Music doesn't have your selection. By running off with them...and of course returning to you, I find your MP3 Beta application to be a thing of heart-breaking beauty. Forgive me, my love.

xoxo,
Matt

Big Ten Network Day? Mayor Fumbles

2007-10-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was Big Ten Network Day. RT Rybak made the proclamation, but nobody saw it because Comcast still doesn't carry the BTN. Strange, strange announcement, in my opinion. How many households in Minneapolis can afford anything above broadcast/antenna reception? Then of those, how many have satellite? Next up, Minneapolis declares October 8 "Maserati Monday" and the circus animals are still invited to participate.

Radiohead In Rainbows

2007-09-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

Holy crap: out of nowhere, Radiohead announces that they're releasing a download-only new album - In Rainbows - on October 10, with a physical release of the same album coming in December and also including a bonus disc. I can hear the ticks, whirrs, and moans already. Huh. My hearing-aid batteries must need changing.

Anyhow, I just pre-ordered my download - which seems a bit meta, frankly - and those crazy wankers asked ME - the lowly listener/customer/fan! - to set the price! Are you serious? What a great scheme.

I can't wait to hear the album.

Guns Don't Kill People

2007-09-27T20:22:00.000-07:00

Lesson: don't shoot Swedish elk.

The elk knocked Rådlund to the ground and aimed its antlers at his face. Fortunately, the hunter managed to grab hold of the antlers and steer the animal's head away.

But he was not out of danger yet. In a strange reversal of the usual order, the elk's hind legs came into contact with the rifle trapped under Rådlund's body and a shot was fired.

The Bad Plus Two

2007-09-27T19:38:00.001-07:00

The semi-Minneapolitan jazz trio the Bad Plus played the Guthrie the other night. I know it was a big show. TBP recently used their Do The math blog for a great post on the irony and legitimacy of playing covers. As a serious jazz trio known for playing tunes by Nirvana, Blondie, the Pixies, and David Bowie (among others), they have some interesting things to say about authenticity and pleasure in music - and make me want to listen to their fantastic take of Vangelis' "Chariots of Fire" theme for about a week straight.

Elsewhere, Dave King, TBP's killer drummer, comments on irony, cover songs, musical styles, and about a million other topics in a great interview in All About Jazz - well worth reading if you're into the Minneapolis music scene or eclectic music in general.

(Cross-posted to Blowing & Drifting.)

Parkour

2007-09-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months I've been noticing media coverage about Parkour and its founder David Belle. Here's an article about Belle from The New Yorker. If you're a fan of Jackie Chan, I think you'll find this pretty cool.

Wednesday Lyric Blogging

2007-09-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

Stealing from Elise’s Friday Poetry Blogging, I’m going to start posting lyrics here on Wednesdays. The qualifications? Not much – either things I like and / or am fascinated by…and as most of you know that casts a pretty wide net. The lyrics may be from some poppy, one-hit-wonder earworm; or could simply tell a story; or could be from one of my favorite bands; or all of the above. I will attempt to make this a multimedia affair. If there’s a link to the song’s video, cover art, or other items on the internets, I’ll will try to get you there. Without further ado, let’s start off with this up-beat rocker by the Handsome Family.

"Drunk By Noon" (Lyrics by Rennie Sparks)
From The Handsome Family’s Milk & Scissors

There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy,
But he lived in a cage the size of his thumb.
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks,
He galloped around until hit by a car.

Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
Just to remind myself I'll never fly.
Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die.

If my life was as long as the moon's,
I'd still be jealous of the sun.
If my life lasted only one day,
I'd still be drunk by noon.

Sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer.
At least then I'll get to watch TV all day.
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers
Even if all my questions are taken away.

If my life was as long as the moon's,
I'd still be jealous of the sun.
If my life lasted only one day,
I'd still be drunk by noon.

Double Your Pleasure

2007-09-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

For Wes Anderson fans, there will be two releases this month -- a short Hotel Chevalier on the 'net and The Darjeeling Limited in theaters. I posted more details and superfluous commentary on the Sanctioning Agent blog.

Hat tip to Colin for the article.

A legend passes

2007-09-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

Marcel Marceau, the legendary mime, died this past weekend at the age of 84. Mimes have become something of a punchline cliche, and if your experience of them is limited to your standard-or-garden-variety street performer I can see why. But Marceau was an artist of a different order of magnitude. His ability to tell complex, human stories without words was unparalleled, and his legacy can be seen in performers as diverse as Cirque du Soleil, Theatre de la Jeune Lune, Pilobolus, and Blue Man Group. He was also, as I was lucky enough to know from personal experience, a genuinely lovely man and a born raconteur. I'm very sorry to hear of his death, not least because it is almost certainly also the death of the artform to which he dedicated his life.

Wikipedia on Marceau
Salon Brilliant Careers: Marcel Marceau
The Times obit
The Intn'l Herald Tribune obit

Compare & Contrast

2007-09-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

From A Word a Day:

The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart. -Iris Murdoch, writer (1919-1999)

and from Velonews:

Oscar Pereiro was formally named the winner of the 2006 Tour de France on Thursday after American authorities ruled against Floyd Landis's appeal for failing a doping test, the sport's world governing body, the UCI, said.

Pereiro finished the 2006 race in second place, 57 seconds behind Landis but the American tested positive after the race following his 17th stage win at Morzine, three days before the end of the race.

"We can right now say that Pereiro is the winner of the Tour without waiting for a possible appeal by Landis to the Court of Arbitration for Sport," UCI president Pat McQuaid said.

Tour de France director Christian Prudhomme said the decision to strip Landis of the 2006 title was too long in coming.

"We have waited a long time, too long. We said since the beginning that we were confident in the laboratory (AFLD) at Châtenay-Malabry," Prudhomme said. "Now it is proven and confirmed that Landis cheated. As far as the Tour de France is concerned, Landis was no longer the winner after the positive test of the second sample."

"According to the rules, the second-placed rider (Oscar Pereiro) will be promoted to first place," he added. "Landis did everything he could in his defense, for which he cannot be reproached. But it is clear that the process has been far too long."

Japanese Human Art

2007-09-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

Cool playing forwards, even cooler playing backwards.

Double Duty Day

2007-09-19T08:57:00.001-07:00

Not only is it Talk like a Pirate Day, but it's the 25th anniversary of the invention of the smiley emoticon:

If you’ve ever ended an e-mail message or an instant message with an emoticon, now might be a good time to pause and reflect on the work of Scott E. Fahlman. After all, it will be 25 years ago tomorrow that Mr. Fahlman, a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University, invented the digital smiley face.

After a colleague joked about a contaminated elevator on an electronic bulletin board, Mr. Fahlman had his eureka moment: He recommended that future quipsters mark their jokes with “:-)” to make sure no one misconstrued their comments.

Since the Net is now overrun with winking emoticons, crying emoticons, and even an Abraham Lincoln emoticon — “==):-)=” — it’s hard to believe that Mr. Falhman felt the need to explain his creation. But he did issue a simple directive to folks confused by the icon: “Read it sideways.” —Brock Read

Arrrrrrrrrrr!

2007-09-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

Avast, mateys! 'Tis the 19th of September, which, as ye know, is Talk Like A Pirate Day! Here be links to add to yer booty:

The Official Site

The UK Site

The Australian Site

Some news coverage

An instructional video:

YARRRRR!

Smash and Grab

2007-09-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

From the Morning News:

Martin Klimas destroys a lot of clay to make his art. Combining the silence of Eadweard Muybridge’s horse pictures with the association-rich composition of a still life, Klimas breaks recognizable objects so they become something else, and stops us just at the moment of transformation.

Iraq: America's Vietnam

2007-09-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

The brutal nub of Paul Krugman's column in the Times today:

All in all, Mr. Bush’s actions have not been those of a leader seriously trying to win a war. They have, however, been what you’d expect from a man whose plan is to keep up appearances for the next 16 months, never mind the cost in lives and money, then shift the blame for failure onto his successor.

In fact, that’s my interpretation of something that startled many people: Mr. Bush’s decision last month, after spending years denying that the Iraq war had anything in common with Vietnam, to suddenly embrace the parallel.

Here’s how I see it: At this point, Mr. Bush is looking forward to replaying the political aftermath of Vietnam, in which the right wing eventually achieved a rewriting of history that would have made George Orwell proud, convincing millions of Americans that our soldiers had victory in their grasp but were stabbed in the back by the peaceniks back home.

What all this means is that the next president, even as he or she tries to extricate us from Iraq — and prevent the country’s breakup from turning into a regional war — will have to deal with constant sniping from the people who lied us into an unnecessary war, then lost the war they started, but will never, ever, take responsibility for their failures.

Poker? You Brought 'Er!

2007-09-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

I can't figure out an artful way to blog this, so I'll do it artlessly:

James Fallows of the Atlantic took a trip to the remote western provinces of China.

After trekking for hours across a stark, lunar desert landscape awesome in its harsh beauty, our bus rolled into a former Silk Road waypoint where today's craftsmen still specialize in hand-knotted rugs. We passed through a beaded curtain to see, on the place of honor on the main wall, this:

Kathy Griffin: Comedic Genius

2007-09-11T20:38:00.001-07:00

Along with PZ Myers, I think Kathy Griffin, a self-professed "D-list" celebrity, is actually pretty damn cool. She won an Emmy for her reality show, and then,

In her speech, Griffin said that "a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."

She went on to hold up her Emmy, make an off-color remark about Christ and proclaim, "This award is my god now!"

Even better, the "off-color remark" was apparently, "Suck it, Jesus." He can't of course, being 2,000 years dead.

(Via Pharyngula.)

Where Are the Super-Theys Now?

2007-09-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

In the Morning News, Matthew Baldwin brings us up to date on some lesser-known superheroes:

Earworm
Motto: “Who let the dogs out?”
Fifteen Minutes of Fame: Single-handedly defeated M.U.R.D.E.R., Inc., by getting “YMCA” stuck in their heads, leaving them unable to concentrate on their plans for world domination.
Where is she now? Overcome by her own powers, Earworm now resides in Apsis Asylum, when she spends her days rocking in a corner of her cell and humming the theme from Tetris.

Exploding Lad
Motto: “Welcome to Boomtown!”
Fifteen Minutes of Fame: When Blue Oblivion opened a stargate in Ohio, allowing hordes of alien Soul Ticks access to our planet, it was Exploding Lad to the rescue. Rushing to the scene, he used his metahuman ability to detonate violently, destroying the portal and saving America.
Where is he now? Strewn about the Greater Akron area, as he belatedly discovered his power to be a one-time-only kind of deal.

Be sure to read to the bottom, where you can learn about the Decider.

Summer Movies '08

2007-09-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

I was watching The Daily Show tonight and the highlights were "the moment of Zen" which shows a clip of Sen. Larry Craig in '99 railing against Bill Clinton as a "nasty, naughty boy"; AND... and the mother bleepin' trailer for Iron Man. I can't wait!! My geek-nerd rage will also be fueled by The Dark Knight.

Hack Attack II

2007-09-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I blogged an article in Wired about the cyberattack on Estonia ("eStonia") by Russian hackers. Last week, news emerged about attacks on U.S. and German government websites by hackers who were apparently operating from China. As this piece in the International Herald Tribune shows, the Chinese attackers resemble the Russians in that they may or may not be operating with sanction from their government. Even more troubling than the idea that, in Russia, Putin is using his geeks to probe NATO (as suggested in the Wired piece) is the idea that, in China, the People's Liberation Army may be pursuing military and foreign policy that is not only disconnected from the Communist Party's, but perhaps opposed to it:

Outside the secretive party and government bureaucracy in China, little is known about the ties between the civilian leadership and the sprawling, 2.3 million-strong People's Liberation Army.

As Hu [Jintao, the president of China] attempts to consolidate his power ahead of the important 17th Party Congress expected to be held in October, doubts remain that he exercises the same control over the military as earlier Communist leaders.

These doubts were heightened when the Chinese military shot down an obsolete weather satellite in January, seemingly without informing the civilian bureaucracy in advance of what was clearly a provocative move that drew widespread international protest.

Some foreign analysts suspect that it is difficult for the civilian leadership to keep track of cyber warfare research and development because it is not centralized under a single military or intelligence command.

Great: 2.3 million Chinese troops, answering only to their rogue generals. It's like the obverse of the crazy situation in Washington, where a rogue president is somehow answerable only to a high-ranking general in Iraq.

When Bad Things Happen to Tiny Artworks

2007-09-10T11:52:00.000-07:00

I love the little installation-art pieces created by "Slinkachu," who shows off photos of his stuff at Little People. His most recently blogged piece is an actual gallery show, which is both fun to examine (through the photos) and a cool comment on gallery-going. I won't ruin the surprise by stealing any of his photos from the site; just go and check it out.

Ah-Choo

2007-09-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

When a baby panda sneezes, a mama panda says, "WFT?"

Go Go Sox - The Wins are Expensive, The Losses are Free

2007-09-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

As Patton Oswalt said "my geekiness is getting in the way of my nerdiness." In my case, my anger is getting in the way of my nerdiness. The Sox are one of the biggest disappointments of the season...and one of the most expensive. Here's a list of "cost per wins" for MLB thus far. Granted each team could amass a few more wins and dilute the CPW figure, but I think the rankings should hold. Note that the Yankees are spending about $2 million more per win than the Devil Rays. Zoiks.

Thankfully football season has started. Now if I could only see the Hawkeyes on the Big Ten Network. Damn you Comcast.

Missing Madeleine

2007-09-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

I just saw the news that Madeleine L'Engle has died. I absolutely devoured her books, starting at about 10 years old. I can't imagine having made it through Jr. High and High School without them - they made me feel OK about not fitting in, and helped me to think big thoughts about big stuff: morality, love, death, religion. I still go back and reread her stuff occasionally, and I look forward to passing the books along to the Hatchling when she gets old enough. L'Engle lived a long, fruitful, interesting life and I imagine she was ready to meet her maker. But I sure am grateful she leaves behind such a large body of work.

(cross-posted at the Snarky Squab)

The Swedish Right Wing

2007-09-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

Last year, you were almost certainly riveted by parliamentary elections in Sweden, where a center-right (or, as they put it, "centre-right") coalition came to power, displacing the more left-leaning socialist parties for the first time in a very long time. Well, those free-marketers are going nuts! Listen to this bit of Ayn Randian supply-side craziness:

Parents who want to stay at home to look after their young children will be entitled to extra money from their local councils, under new proposals unveiled by the government on Tuesday. The money will be offered to parents with children aged between 1 and 3 who do not make use of subsidized childcare. The manifesto proposed either a taxed benefit of up to 4,000 kronor per month* or an untaxed benefit of up to 3,000 kronor* per month. Parents receiving the benefit will not have to stop working entirely.

Inevitably, given the brutal nature of Swedish politics, the critics have their knives out, denouncing the proposal as too Norwegian (I'm serious!) and not generous enough.

(*4,000 kronor is about $580; 3,000 is about $440.)

Hack Attack

2007-08-31T14:03:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's just me, but I have been freaked out by this Wired article on how Russian hackers - apparently operating with the Kremlin's authorization and probably its assistance - used a "cyberattack" to nearly destroy Estonia's IT infrastructure. It's an incredible story, seemingly out of science fiction, and yet it just happened a few months ago - and could happen again at any time.

Never before had an entire country been targeted on almost every digital front all at once, and never before had a government itself fought back. "The attacks were aimed at the essential electronic infrastructure of the Republic of Estonia," Aaviksoo tells me later. "All major commercial banks, telcos, media outlets, and name servers — the phone books of the Internet — felt the impact, and this affected the majority of the Estonian population. This was the first time that a botnet threatened the national security of an entire nation."

Welcome to Web War one.

Norwegian Youngsters

2007-08-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

I wonder what would happen to the mother of an American kid who did this:

Toddler went hiking alone, in the middle of the night
Donning a backpack and going for a hike is deeply engrained in the Norwegian culture. A little girl up north took the national pastime to heart, much to her mother's dismay.

The four-year-old girl apparently woke up in the middle of the night, climbed out of bed and decided it was time for a midnight stroll. She put on her playclothes (pink), slung a backpack over her shoulders and set off into the newly returned darkness of a late summer night in Tromsø, northern Norway. Police got a call shortly after 5am that a little had been spotted out wandering alone near the Tromsdalen campground. They sent a patrol car to the spot and found the little hiker, who told them her name. She also could tell them her mother's name. The police called her, and then took the intrepid little girl home. "It was, of course, quite a message for her mother to get, but it went well," Trond Amundsen of the Tromsø Police Station told web site iTromso.no.

Don't Mess with Texas

2007-08-31T08:56:00.000-07:00

How many spiders live in a spider web big enough to "encase several mature oak trees and thick enough in places to block out the sun"?

Lots.

R.I.P. Hilly

2007-08-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

From The New York Times:

Hilly Kristal, who founded CBGB, the Bowery bar that became the cradle of punk and art-rock in New York in the 1970s and served as the inspiration for musician-friendly rock dives throughout the world, died in Manhattan on Tuesday. He was 75.

Smells Like the Onion

2007-08-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

"We have here an entire look, a fully formed lifestyle, flowing directly from that navy blue V-neck sweater." Fuckin' right, you do.

Craig's List

2007-08-28T05:22:00.001-07:00

Another day, another Republican gay-sex scandal - this one originating in the men’s room at the Northstar Crossing in MSP's Lindbergh Terminal. From Newser:

Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested after allegedly soliciting sex from a male plainclothes police officer in a men's room at Minneapolis airport June 11. August 8th, Craig appeared in the Hennepin County District Court and pled guilty to disorderly conduct . • He was given a suspended 10-day jail sentence and a year's probation. He denied wrongdoing today, and said he regrets his guilty plea. “I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter,” he said. "In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously.” Craig, 62, resigned as Senate co-chair of the Romney campaign.

Read the Roll Call story. it's a doozy, full of interesting details from the police report about how Craig solicited the officer. It sounds like he's an old pro at cruising - though not at coming up with excuses for the behavior that got him arrested. "Craig stated 'that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine,' the report states. Craig also told the arresting officer that he reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper that was on the floor.' It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, nor did Craig pick up a piece of paper,' the arresting officer said in the report."

Snopes, I Don't Believe It

2007-08-28T05:02:00.001-07:00

I love Snopes.com, the big urban myth-debunking website. It's the place to go, for instance, with the latest crazy email forward: they almost always have the facts to deflate silly story. But as Defective Yeti points out, they're just not trying anymore:

Alas, it appears that this is either a photoshopped image, or the folks at Snopes have already updated their analysis. (The latest update was just today.)

Location, Location, Location

2007-08-24T12:03:00.001-07:00

15 Badly Placed Ads:

On Oddee, via AdFreak.com.

2007: A Year in Fake Deaths

2007-08-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

From Metrodad:

FATHER'S PATIENCE, 3, DIES IN MANHATTAN

Having survived a torrent of toddler tantrums, a father's patience quietly passed away this week. The cause of death was last night's dinner.

Given the choice between macaroni-and-cheese or chicken tenders, the father's daughter communicated her preference for chicken tenders. Immediately upon seeing said chicken tenders, the father's daughter repeatedly screamed "No! I want mac-and-cheese!" The toddler's father, in a humiliating act of contrition due to a long day at the office, ignorantly decided that peace and quiet were of paramount importance that evening and duly cooked up a plate of macaroni-and-cheese. When proffered the mac-and-cheese,the toddler then proceeded to cry in the whiniest voice known to mankind, "I don't want mac-and-cheese. I want donuts!"

It was at that precise moment that Father's Patience suddenly died. There were no survivors.

WHITE APPROPRIATION OF BLACK CULTURE, 82, DIES

White People's Appropriation of Black Culture officially died August 22 on the set of America's Got Talent in Los Angeles. It was 82 years old. The cause of death was host Jerry Springer beatboxing before a national audience, then calling UB40's "Red, Red Wine" the greatest reggae song of all-time while bumping fists with a contestant.

Although White Appropriation of Black Culture has a long and storied past, it had previously been able to survive repeated attacks by Vanilla Ice, Elvis Presley, Eminem, and my annoying 15-year-old white neighbor in Tribeca who has dreadlocks, wears his jeans below his ass and thinks he's from the 'hood. However, upon seeing Jerry Springer's performance on national television, white people from around the world unanimously made the decision to instantly execute the White Appropriation of Black Culture.

White Appropriation of Black Culture is survived by Chinese Tattoos on Sorority Chicks, Naming Sports Teams After Native American Stereotypes, and Corporate Mascots on TV Speaking with Funny Mexican Accents.

More.

Punchlines

2007-08-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

The dude behind Defective Yeti is funny, but his readers are funnier. After a get together, his host offered to warm up some leftover pizza for him.

"No, thanks," I said, and then--because it's my standard line in situations like that--added, "I like my pizza the way I like my women."

I didn't have a punchline in mind when I said it. But, having set the joke up, I had no choice but to follow through. "Cold ... and a few hours old."

That's good, but his readers' alternate punchlines are ever better. Click through to read (slightly naughty) ones as good as these three:

"Patted down with a napkin and folded in half"
"Hand tossed."
"Liberally endowed with Italian Sausage."

Ah, Academe

2007-08-22T09:47:00.001-07:00

It must be almost fall on campus: the grounds crews here at Carleton are sprucing everything up, the sports teams are back and practicing, and the college guides are hitting the bookshelves.

The big one, America's Best Colleges from US News & World Report, came out on Monday, and though everyone says they don't care about the rankings, that the ranking methodology stinks, that rankings are meaningless, etc. etc., everyone here at Carleton got an email last week - before the magazine was even for sale - bragging about Carleton's ranking in the national liberal arts college list. Being the quiet, unassuming type, I won't state that number, though it rhymes with "hive." And far be it from my to libel other schools, but c'mon: who couldn't rank number #1, 2, 3, or 4 with a billion-dollar endowment?

And but so, the Best 366 Colleges, from the Princeton Review, just came out, too. This guide provides a more nuanced or idiosyncratic look at colleges, one which never fails to be interesting. Here are the takes on my current employer and my undergrad alma mater:

Carleton College
#13 School Runs Like Butter (quality of administration) (#1: Princeton University)
#18 Their Students Never Stop Studying (#1: Reed College)
#11 Best College Radio Station (#1: St. Bonaventure University)
#13 Everyone Plays Intramural Sports (#1: University of Notre Dame)

Macalester College
#13 Diverse Student Population (#1: Temple U.)
#1 Gay Community Accepted (#1!)
#5 Lots of Race/Class Interaction (#1: Wesleyan College)
#15 Students Ignore God on a Regular Basis (#1: Lewis & Clark College - this whole category owned by liberal arts colleges)
#3 Most Politically Active (#1: The George Washington University)
#13 Students Most Nostalgic For Bill Clinton (#1: Warren Wilson College - who?)
#19 Best Campus Food (#1: Virginia Tech)
#1 Best Quality of Life (#1!)
#19 Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians (#1: Hampshire College)
#9 Great College Towns (#1: Eugene Lang College--The New School for Liberal Arts - duh, it's in Manhattan)

I'd be interested in seeing what readers' searches turn up for their schools. (You have to register to search, but it's a painless registration process and searching is easy.)

Vive la difference?

2007-08-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

Check out this super cool photo essay from Time Magazine - each photo shows a family from a different part of the world with what they eat in a week; the caption tells you how much they spend on those groceries. The variety is really, really interesting.

Roll Me Another Tea

2007-08-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

Watch a pilot pour iced tea while barrel-rolling his airplane!

(Clip seen on James Fallows' blog, where he talks mostly about China but has recently talked a bit about flying and aeronautics - specifically, how and why JFK Jr. lost his bearings and crashed)

2007-08-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

Barbara Ehrenreich dissects the ongoing financial crises:

Somewhere in the Hamptons a high-roller is cursing his cleaning lady and shaking his fists at the lawn guys. The American poor, who are usually tactful enough to remain invisible to the multi-millionaire class, suddenly leaped onto the scene and started smashing the global financial system. Incredibly enough, this may be the first case in history in which the downtrodden manage to bring down an unfair economic system without going to the trouble of a revolution.

First they stopped paying their mortgages, a move in which they were joined by many financially stretched middle class folks, though the poor definitely led the way. All right, these were trick mortgages, many of them designed to be unaffordable within two years of signing the contract. There were “NINJA” loans, for example, awarded to people with “no income, no job or assets.” Conservative columnist Niall Fergusen laments the low levels of “economic literacy” that allowed people to be exploited by sub-prime loans. Why didn’t these low-income folks get lawyers to go over the fine print? And don’t they have personal financial advisors anyway?

More.

This Just In: Some Republicans Are Hypocrites

2007-08-20T09:58:00.001-07:00

I can't find anything to cut out of this post on the City Pages' "Blotter" blog, so I'll just quote it all:

Back in June, Vita.mn ran a story about where people have sex outdoors in Minnesota. The article made it on the Strib's main web page, prompting reader complaints. Kate Parry, the paper's ombudsman, wrote an article about the brouhaha, quoting Tim Droogsma, former press secretary for both then-senator Rudy Boschwitz and then-governor Arne Carlson.

Droogsma's reaction to the article: "I don't think I'm too prudish (which, I realize, is what prudes always say), but do we really want this sentence: 'She hopped on my lap, facing forward. I pulled up her skirt in the back, slid her panties out of the way, and unzipped'?"

Fast forward a couple months:

On Tuesday, Droogsma was arrested by St. Paul cops for allegedly trying to pay for sex. The deal was brokered on Craiglist, the St. Paul PD says, and the would-be prostitute was an undercover cop.

In an email to the Strib, Droogsma, 50, denies being a dirty late-middle-aged man, calling the whole escapade "a severe misunderstanding."

I love hypocrisy!

Smarten Up

2007-08-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Running in the rain wasn't perhaps the most obviously intelligent way I might have spent time this weekend, but Monday morning I found that in fact, it might have been just the thing the brain needed:

Scientists have suspected for decades that exercise, particularly regular aerobic exercise, can affect the brain. But they could only speculate as to how. Now an expanding body of research shows that exercise can improve the performance of the brain by boosting memory and cognitive processing speed. Exercise can, in fact, create a stronger, faster brain.

The neuroscientists don't yet understand how exercise causes "neurogenesis," the growth of new brain neurons, or for that matter if it's really happening, but they have some interesting hypotheses, described in the article. Even better is a neatly interlocking list of other behaviors and substances that can improve brain functioning: alcohol, social interaction, a good diet, chocolate, reduced stress - even marijuana. Sounds like a good weekend!

Shepard Tone Deafened

2007-08-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

A Shepard tone, named after Roger Shepard, is a sound consisting of a superposition of sine waves separated by octaves. When played with the base pitch of the tone moving upwards or downwards, it is referred to as the Shepard scale. This creates the auditory illusion of a tone that continually ascends or descends in pitch, yet which ultimately seems to get no higher or lower.

Listen to it. It's like the sound of a plane coming in low for a landing, but never actually passing overhead. It'll drive you batty.

(Via Defective Yeti, which accurately describes it as "a color that shouldn't exist or an angle that doesn't add up.")

Keeping Time

2007-08-16T13:46:00.000-07:00

Terrible news for jazz fans or for anyone who's admired a good beat:

Max Roach, a founder of modern jazz who rewrote the rules of drumming in the 1940's and spent the rest of his career breaking musical barriers and defying listeners' expectations, died early Thursday in New York. He was 83.

Roach played with everybody who was anybody in postwar jazz, and had the chops to match even the Miles Davises and Charlie Parkers. Pick up Money Jungle by Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus, and Max Roach if you want to hear Roach near the height of his powers.

If there's a god, she'll welcome Max to paradise with the best kit ever.

(UPDATE: If you're interested in hearing Roach's playing, go check Destination: Out!, a great MP-free jazz blog that's featuring the late great right now. Click on the track names (right under the photos) to hear the tunes in your browser, or download them to savor later.)

How Do You Say "Sorry" in Gaelic?

2007-08-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, but all the I'm-sorrying around the planet is making me retch.

First, Japan issues a mealy-mouthed mea culpa for invading everybody else in Asia (and nobody else accepts the apology), then a bunch of Confederate states start lining up to apologize for slavery, and now we have freaking Denmark - land of Hans Christian Andersen, delectable pastries, bike commuting, and doped-up cyclists - apologizing to Ireland for the Viking invasions a thousand years ago. Gimme a break. Has anyone had it easier since 1000 A.D. than the Irish? They have a beautiful country, the English have been happy to help out with religion and language, the whole potato angle worked out great, their IT-based economy is booming, traditional Irish music like U2 is huge, and don't forget Guinness.

But still, they now get a flat, waterlogged Nordic country to apologize for trying to jump-start the Irish import/export business a few centuries ago? Shameless. It's Ireland that oughta be apologizing to the rest of us for this nonsense.

We Lurve Pawlenty

2007-08-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

Wha?

In the wake of the Minneapolis bridge collapse, Gov. Tim Pawlenty’s approval rating has climbed to its highest level recorded during his tenure in office, a new poll shows.

This is ridiculous. His administrative style contributed to the infrastructure problems that have been highlighted by the collapse. His no-taxes policy hamstrings the state government's ability to move forward. He has been steathily unrolling many of the state-funded programs which make (made?) Minnesota a great state. And on top of that, he's clearly positioning himself for Bigger and Better Things just as soon as possible.

Ridiculous.

Busted Up

2007-08-15T08:37:00.001-07:00

I think it's because I'm now a parent and (temporarily) our family's sole breadwinner, but the ups and downs of the financial markets are suddenly riveting to me. Not in the check-the-tickers-all-day-long kinda way, but in the will-my-401(k)-survive kinda way. As such, this column in the Financial Times is an especially good overview of the market meltdowns that started last week:

Financial markets, and particularly the big players within them, need fear. Without it, they go crazy. Moreover, it is impossible for outsiders to regulate a global financial system riddled with conflicts of interest and dominated by huge derivatives markets, massive trading by highly leveraged hedge funds and reliance on abstruse mathematics and questionable statistical models. These markets must regulate themselves. The only thing likely to persuade them to do so is the certainty that the players will be allowed to go bust.

When Old Companies Meet New Technology

2007-08-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

This is a fantastic example of what happens when an old company tries to use old methods to manage new technologies:

It’s a minor triumph of Apple’s that all AT&T plans for the iPhone include unlimited data services. After all, Blackberries and Treos alike have spendy access plans that dramatically increase their cost of use.

But as Justine Ezarik (a designer based in Pittsburgh known as iJustine who is also a “lifecaster” on Justin.tv) learned recently, AT&T still has a very old-world view of billing for data services. The company broke out as a line item every data transfer her iPhone made, including 30,000 texts, most of which come up as a huge series of $0.00 transactions. The total heft to the package? 300 pages. And it shipped in a box, which can’t have been cheap, even leaving aside the environmental impact of a few hundred thousand folks getting extra-big bills printed on paper.

Rove Out by August

2007-08-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

For the sake of the family. Of course.

"There's always something that can keep you here, and as much as I'd like to be here, I've got to do this for the sake of my family," he said.

He said he expected Mr Bush's current poor ratings to improve, and that conditions in Iraq would get better as the military surge continued.

He also expects the dollar to surge against foreign currencies, the dot.com boom to return once more, and the ghost of Saint Ronald Reagan to rise from the grave and personally bless the republican nominee on live television.

Christ. What a fuck-knuckle.

Bob Allen

2007-08-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

Did you hear the one about the Florida State Legislator who was arrested for lewd or lascivious conduct? The one who recently sponsored legislation to toughen penalties for lewd or lascivious conduct and created a new provision that allows some sexual predators to receive life prison sentences for their offenses. That’s right, the lawmaker that had dubbed the bill the "Sexual Predator Elimination Act." Yeah, that one, right he’s also the state co-chair for the McCain campaign. Sorry John. Well, it looks like Blowjob Bob’s fear of black people made him do it.

Down from the Mountain

2007-08-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

Boy, the 2007 Tour de France just won't stop. As doping accusations continue to spin out, today the tour winner, Alberto Contador, took the pulpit to say that

I have never doped and I have never participated in an act of doping. I won the Tour clean. I cannot understand the attacks against by people that don't even know me. My commitment is absolute and I will always be ready to collaborate in the fight against doping.

Thing is, he might be telling the truth, but it doesn't matter. Cycling's not only so badly tainted now that the freaking tour champion gets disinvited from middling races in which he wasn't even going to ride, but that his team - and the team on which Lance Armstrong rode to win his seven titles - can't even get a sponsor for the upcoming cycling season, and is disbanding. The team had eight of the last nine Tour de France championships, and can't get anyone to give them a few million a year. Imagine if the freaking Colts were kicked out of their stadium in the off-season, or the Cardinals were forced to move to an even crummier town - it's that crazy and bad.

Idiots Getting Some on the Side

2007-08-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

A Texas man is suing 1-800-Flowers for $1 million after a thank you note from the web florist outed him as an adulterer. Leroy Greer specifically asked 1-800-Flowers not to send him a receipt for the cuddly stuffed animal and dozen long stemmed roses he ordered for his mistress. Despite his request, 1-800-Flowers sent a thank you note to his house several months later, prompting his wife to ask who the hell got flowers. She called 1-800-Flowers, which gladly faxed her a copy of Leroy's order form that included the following message meant for his mistress: "Just wanted to say I love you and you mean the world to me! -Leroy."

Leroy, you are an idiot. And a scumbag.

A picture is worth a thousand curse words

2007-08-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

OK, this is old, old news, but I'm catching up on my bloglines and I just saw it and ... jeebus, but if this isn't a sign of the apocalypse I don't know what the hell WOULD be. Check it: there are actually people out there who pay good money to turn this:

into THIS:

Seriously. Like, intentionally. WTF? In what warped world is the bottom picture an improvement over the top? What the hell kind of message are you sending your kid when you do this to their pictures? I admit, the top photo is a little pink and precious for my taste, but the "retouched" one will haunt my dreams tonight. And there are more ...

I just don't get it.

(Via Broadsheet.)

The UpTake

2007-08-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'd like to introduce you to The UpTake a citizen journalism site started by friends of mine. There was a brief blurb about them in City Pages recently. Chuck and Jason were at Yearly KOS and have posted video -- check it out when you have a chance.

Random Rants

2007-08-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

Hi there. The family unit just returned from a short vacation in Duluth. We had a great time. We’re still processing all that has happened with the 35W bridge collapse. What a tragedy. I’m thankful, on a very selfish level, that my friends and family are safe. I mourn for those have been lost and wish them and the hard working recovery teams the best. Now that we’re starting to deconstruct what happened and the politicking and blame game is accelerating, I’ll highlight my own personal and very random rants.

Exhibit 1: The CNN B-Team of Newscasters
Fredricka Whitfield and Rick Sanchez. These two drove me up the wall. Frericka’s early badgering (shortly after sunset on Aug 1) of a U of M Daily reporter on any conspiracy to cover up a fault bridge was tasteless. Worse is blowhard Sanchez. This dude claims that he went to the U and spent a fair amount of times along the banks of the Mississippi and doesn’t understand why the recovery in the river would be difficult. Look up river j-hole – you have St. Anthony falls…as in waterfalls and you have a lock and dam system that can suddenly send millions of gallons rushing towards the unstable area (and I say unstable because…well, um, the whole fucking thing just fell down), and it’s a river!! Also, Sanchez kept yammering about the civilian volunteers that risked their lives to swim into the river, but the footage on screen was the Minneapolis Fire Captain who was conducting a search of the river wearing a PFD and tied to a safety rope.

Exhibit 2: The Fisherman on MPR
On Friday Aug 3, over the noon hour, MPR interviewed Mayor Rybak. I think Rybak’s been doing a great job with the media to date. Then the mayor took some calls from a concerned public. The first call was from a firsherman concerned about the environmental impact of the cars in the water and the inconvenience of the disruption. C’mon, man!!! We’re still looking for bodies and you’re worried about where you’re going to fish. If you could only fish up stream on this very, very short river. If there were only another body of water in the state? What’s the state motto? The land of one very short river span that would be completely destroyed if an interstate bridge collapsed? No, it’s the land of 10,000 lakes, dude.

Exhibit 3. Pawlenty loses spine pandering for boats, er votes
The Governor, who is fee friendly and tax averse, has a battlefield conversion and will now consider a gas tax. What?!?! I understand your concern and your need to lead, but you can’t just flip-flop on an issue like that. Where’s you deeply held belief? Your philosophy about taxes? At least call it a Bridge Suspension Fee – if you want the bridge to stay up, you need to pay a fee.

So a question for you Snackers, what else have you found rant worth over the past week or so?

On a side note, flash flooding in my home town has claimed my brother's car. Thankfully he's ok. Word from my parents is that the mayor is out of town and not expected back until August 17. Can you say "one term?"

Sousaphone Hero

2007-08-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

Not as popular as Guitar Hero. A good laugh from The Onion.

Meta Tragedy

2007-08-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

From the Local in Sweden:

A gravedigger died in southern Sweden on Wednesday after becoming trapped in a grave he was digging.

The accident happened in a cemetery in Gudmuntorp, near Höör in Skåne, at 12pm. The man and a colleague had been preparing the grave, and had deposited earth dug from the ground in a large, open container.

The container, estimated to weigh three tonnes, started sliding into the grave while the men were still standing in it. One of the men managed to get out of the grave in time, while the other became trapped under the container, according to Stefan Färdig of the emergency services. The incident is being treated as a workplace accident, Färdig said.

Okay, this is bad and silly enough to begin with, but then the guy they're quoting? His name includes the word "dig"?

Visualizing the Web

2007-08-07T11:25:00.001-07:00

This article in Metropolis is not only a good look at a cutting-edge visual designer named Jonathan Harris, but an entree to the incredible stuff Harris has created, such as 10x10, a visual representation of each hour's ten most prominent news stories, or Lovelines, which mines the web for sentences that start with "I love," or "I hate" or anything in between and then displays the results in an everchanging stream of text and photos. It's inspiring stuff.

Reaction on the Street

2007-08-07T07:44:00.001-07:00

The Onion's man-on-the-street provides his reaction to the passage of the new warrantless surveillance law:

You won't need to eavesdrop to hear this: I voted for you a**holes because you said you were against sh*t like this.