Gov. Death = President Death

As the larvae becomes the butterfly, so does Governor Death become President Death. Wait, please people have some respect. Dubya presided over a death almost every two weeks he was governor of Texas (What have you done with your life?). I suppose it’s just that awe-inspiring swagger to us latte liberals (please pass the brie, as we talk about Camus and our po-mo angst…Wait did you say Camus or Camembert? I thought you meant pass the expensive cheese), but I’m starting to be impressed. Now, the smirking chimp has been able to preside over 1,000 U.S. deaths for a trumped up war. This is an accelerated rate that can only come from a consistent voice in times of change. It’s really hard for a waffling flip-flopper to have this type of intestinal fortitude. John Kerry, will you kill Americans to keep us safe?

Now don’t let me sell President Death short, as the 1K number ignores the lives lost by innocent civilians or the numerous deaths of our great coalition (Denmark we salute you!! – imagine a “Hee Haw” fence hitting a pot-smoking Dane in the ass). He is spending $200 Billion on this nation building act of aggression. I don’t know about you, but I regularly fantasize about what I would do if I won the Powerball. I’m completely drunk, no I’m hallucinating (Halliburtoning?), on power with the thoughts of what I could do with $200 billion and 1,000 innocent Americans at my disposal. To say the least, it would be one bitchin’ crib. “MTV welcome to my graveyard, I’ve tricked it our with some bad ass rims. Don’t make me go Fallujah on your ass…Go big or go home! This is where I we have the living room – yes, it is from Carlysle; how did you know? Britney Spears wants me. ”

C’mon people WTF?!?! How can nearly half of our eligible voting populace buy this crap? Invoke the name of God to become a kill-and-spend conservative? I long for the good old days of stray interns and misused cigars. I long for the good old days when Dale Sr. remembered to turn left. Too soon for a Dale joke? Sorry, I’m still all hopped up on my imaginary power.

Register to vote. Vote on November 2.

WWJD. What would Jesus do? Apparently kill, mame, extort and coherce. Thanks Dub, I was forgetting what the good book was telling us.