It’s the 21st Century, IM me.

This might go a lot faster if it was Pope Idol and Catholics could call in for their favorite Cardinal on the Cingular mobile phone. I’d love to have Paula Abdul tell a Cardinal that they're really a sharp dresser and they seem really, really spiritual. Followed by Simon berating the future Pop(e) Star and earning a pre-Vatican II style damnation. Randy will tell them Martin Luther just didn’t have what it takes to put this kind of show on the air and will ask the Cardinal to kick it Aquinas-style in the next round.

In other news, Michael Jackson longs for this type of spectacle – Jesus Juice; lots of bright satin, a smoke show (sans the Pepsi-Commercial-Sparks); and of course, oversight on the sanctioned use of young boys in the church. Pope Billy Jean I

Excuse me, I’m getting called…”yes, Matt, we have you booked on an express ticket to hell, Venial Sin class was filled, so you’ll be riding in the Mortal Sin section... No, I'm sorry you can't sit there. That seat is saved for a Mr. T. Delay from Texas.”