Mmm ... I loves me some gay coffee.

I swear, the Christian right-wing has way too much time on their hands. I mean, with all the shit going on in the world right now, you'd think they'd be too busy spreading the gospel or something to bother with fussing about slogans on coffee cups. But of course, you'd be wrong, because there's nothing evangelical fanatics love more than sticking it to the effete, latte-drinking liberal "man":

A national Christian women's organization is accusing the Seattle-based coffee maker of promoting a homosexual agenda because of a quote by author Armistead Maupin, whose "Tales of the City" chronicled San Francisco's homosexual community in the 1970s and 1980s.

Maupin's quote — one of several dozen in "The Way I See It" promotion — says his only regret about being gay is that he repressed it for so long."I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short."

Concerned Women for America, which promotes itself as the antithesis of the National Organization for Women and boasts 8,700 supporters in Washington, says most of those quoted on the coffee cups are liberal.

The group believes corporations have a responsibility to reflect the diversity of their customers by taking a balanced approach — or staying out of divisive social issues altogether.

Look, first of all: Starbucks coffee cups are not media outlets. There's no standard of "fair and balanced reporting" on receptacles for hot, caffeinated beverages. Honest. I looked it up. And second of all: the quotes Starbucks has selected actually do come from a wide variety of sources, including Jonah Goldberg, editor of the National Review online - which ain't exactly a bastion of liberalism - and Michael Medved, nationally syndicated conservative columnist. So they're already presenting a pretty balanced picture. So can y'all just back the hell off now? I'm sure there are snakes to be handled, tongues to be spoken, and progeny to be readied for years of therapy - how 'bout we lay off the nonsensical protests for a few days?

(cross-posted at Bitch, PhD.)