Hump Day Top 5 List

Be honest: how many times in the last 4-5 years have you said to yourself "I wish I believed in an afterlife so I could know that this administration would GET THEIRS"? If you're like me, a whole bunch of times. But truthfully, it's not entirely accurate to say that I don't believe in an afterlife; my views are much more nebulous. When it comes to life-after-death stuff, I guess I'm a militant agnostic: I don't know and you don't either. Of course, not knowing doesn't stop me from thinking about it, and while I've progressed beyond Sunday-school versions of heaven and hell, I still find myself thinking about what I'd sort of like the afterlife to be. If there, you know, is one. I imagine I'm not alone in this quality. So for today's list, please enumerate your top 5 most desired qualities of the afterlife, if there is one. Here are mine:

1. Something approximating corporal reality.

2. The ability to instantly recognize and remember anyone who recognizes and remembers you.

3. Humor. Laughter. Funny stuff.

4. Greatly increased wisdom and understanding, and the ability to pursue knowledge.

5. A really fucking good library.

Bonus: I'd be pretty disappointed if I couldn't meet some of my historical idols (Shakespeare, Shaw, Austen, Joan of Arc). So something will have to be done about the whole time thing, or those guys will be all booked up!

What's on your list?