MMR: The NYoston Monster

Here it is...

Boston & New York suck and their media coverage blows.

Yankees & Boston, it’s like Paris and Paris. Ok, sometimes I suppose that I wish I was you or that I was in bed with you, your skin providing a mild green glow on video. Those glowing eyes…no don’t answer the phone. Then that green skin makes me think of screwing Lou Ferrigno and Eddie’s Father, that director of Blossom does Six. Then I feel sick about that, but I can’t escape it. My feeling of guilt quickly turns to post-modern ineffectual rage. Where was I? Oh yes, media fawning all over Boston & NY. The media won’t stop covering you. There are more trashy party couples out there, there are more homoerotic superhero alteregos and there are more than TWO FUCKING BASEBALL TEAMS IN AMERICA!! Hell, even Canada has one. But you wouldn’t know that there are more than two teams based upon the coverage over the weekend. Manny being Manny and the media being sycophant whores.

I tried to watch the White Sox game last night and it was littered with non-linear breaks to the other playoff games that matter to the little people But, this was on ESPN (sloppy seconds)2. The main network didn’t deviate to interrupt the Yankees and Boston. It’s so intriguing to see Bennifer part deux, again and again and again. Oh and there’s big papi and there’s Damon and a self-proclaimed bunch of idiots. Then NY – fuck, who cares!!! They won again. Great the two biggest payrolls in baseball are again in the playoffs. That’s a fucking compelling story that makes us want to be better Americans. Why play the extra 144 games? Just have a "Girls Gone Wild" style 18-game orgy to decide who has home field advantage for the AL Championship. Then we’ll have a lottery for reality stars to field the NL Team and we’ll call them the Atlanta Braves.

The curse is fucking over. OK. There are more stories in baseball, but the tired echo chamber of media coverage can’t find enough thought, guts or creativity to cover it. I feel like I may be talking about the flying spaghetti monster to some intelligent designers, this may be blasphemy, but there might even be another league out there. It’s called the National League, cover them. The same cities that gave us 9/11 and Logan airport were able to take away media attention from DC and western PA. It's a conspiracy.

Beyond being a White Sox fan, I hope, that in the battle of the Sox, Boston is swept. Just to shut up half the baseball media. Then we’ll have to listen to national broadcasters pretending to know these "other" teams and butcher the names of the players. We could get Babs Bush in there to say that most of these teams can’t afford to play in October, so most of them are just happy to be here. I also hope that St. Louis wins the NL. I’d love to have a flyover country World Series, so the media companies’ margins severely decline as they try to sell ad space to Old Style and DeKalb corn. I can’t even blame this debacle on Bud Selig, the Dubbya of baseball. He’s got to be pissed, his wildcard experiment could have provided many great stories. Instead, NY and Boston battled it out as some other teams had tea parties in some of the biggest parks across the country.

MLB must be reconsidering its relationship with ESPN and Fox as their motto, 8 teams – 1 champion, is not being supported by ESPN and Fox coverage of the NYoston monster. The motto should be revised to be two teams that matter, one has to win.

Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like it when I’m angry – that’s so hot.