Weekend Update

I'm sure you'll be very interested in these incredible tidbits (oh, hyperbole). It was a pretty good weekend.

*A rare occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge… I mean St. Paul. All four A.S.S. assess were in the same physical space at the same time to celebrate Elise's baby shower. This has happened only twice and both times at Elise's sister's house.

*Pam and I had our belated V-Day dinner at Campiello's (which we refer to as Camp Yellow and vow someday to take down those bastards at Camp Green). The food's always decent, it's near our house and it is part of our belated V-Day tradition. With full-time jobs, evening classes and other volunteer commitments, it's easier to schedule later in the week. Thrifty says, the flowers and candies are always cheaper the next day. Thanks Thrifty.

*Enjoyed a wonderful party with creative co-workers which included a keg of Bell's Two Hearted. God does love us.

*Watched some more Olympic coverage, men's biathlon finish was spectacular; Figure skating seems to have turned into a lot of lady-throwin' but not a lot of lady-catchin'; and US hockey is just sad.

*Experienced an unplanned Kate Winslett convergence on Netflix, as all three of our movies starred Kate Winslett. (Finding Neverland, Iris, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). Will agent Mulder ask us about time loss? Will we lose our minds or simply die of consumption?

*I carried two bookcases worth of books out of the soon-to-be nursery. My baby's mama is smart -- take one of the shelves for example: Lots of books in French, lots of books on philosophy, education, and sociology. My book on that same shelf, The Onion's Our Dumb Century.

*I didn't shoot anybody in the face.

*The low point: I did not win the lottery.

It was a good weekend. Someone has pointed out that pending fatherhood has softened me and I'm less angry or less cynical. Then my mom called and the old Matt returned. You see, lot's of folks (not just our parents) are saying they want to visit to "help out" when the baby arrives. Bullshit. They want to see the baby. Just say you want to visit and don't pretend that you're going to do work. Because it's going to be more work trying to coordinate a bunch of out-of-town people and their myriad schedule nuances, opinions and anxieties. We're here to help. That's like our friend's ex who used to say he was going to a strip club because they had Golden Tee. "Buhh-what topless women? Oh, I hadn't notice." Golden Tee is everywhere, if you were going for the game, you'd go the nearest sports-themed bar or video arcade.