What Would Jesus Drink?

Okay, I know that Pat Robertson is already a marginal figure in American society, but c'mon - you can't not admire this brash, Mao-like attempt to enlarge his cult of personality (via This Modern World):

Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Shake
Did you know that Pat Robertson can leg-press 2000 pounds! How does he do it? Where does Pat find the time and energy to host a daily, national TV show, head a world-wide ministry, develop visionary scholars, while traveling the globe as a statesman? One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients.

In answering the two questions, I'd have replied, "Pact with Satan," but still, I love the comma-problematic list of roles. Who are these visionary scholars, again? And - "statesman"? Wha? Plus, don't you think that "keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring" is reactionaryese for "keeps Mrs. Robertson happy in the sack"? I think so.

Best part is, though, that when I try to download the recipes for the shake - because, you know, lunch is only four hours away - the PDFs won't open. Probably a typo in the file name, like in the leg-press figure.