Monday, January 29, 2007

Can't Spell "Damnably Dumb" without D-A-D

Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive - our five-month-old is going through a very rough patch, which means her mom is suffering - but this article on ways mothers can "help nurture a deeper connection between your baby and husband" is dreck spelled s-h-i-t. Strollerderby did a good job eviscerating the tone and content of the piece, but still, I am endlessly rankled to read patronizing tripe like this:

Your child will need thousands of diaper changes during the first few years, so why not make these hours count? Even just changing a few diapers a day is a great opportunity for bonding. Encourage your partner to view diaper changing as fun time with the baby rather than simply a messy chore. But take it from me: You'll have more success with this if you don't scold him for doing it "wrong." There may be a few messes at first, but in no time he'll get it right.
Yeah, don't scold, because then Mr. Butterfingers will feel bad about himself and sulk rather than, say, do his bit to keep the baby from getting caked in its own filth.
Even if your baby is solely breastfed, your husband can get involved by adding the finishing touches. When she's done dining, your partner can let the baby go to town on his pinkie finger for a few minutes. Another idea: When she's finished nursing and is getting drowsy, ease her off your breast and into Daddy's arms. Once she gets used to him putting her to sleep, she'll be more likely to accept him comforting her back to sleep when she wakes up -- and, later, when she loses a beloved toy or falls and scrapes her knee.
Right. Men are such beasts that they have to be coaxed into showing some understanding for the helpless. And of course
No matter how tired you are, it's not easy to convince a dad who works days to spend his nights awake with the baby -- especially if you stay home. So try striking a deal, like Martha and I did. If she could comfort the baby without getting out of bed, she did it. (Fortunately for me, this was usually the case.) But if the baby needed to be walked, then I was up. Rosa, a mom of a patient, shared her husband's contribution: "After a nighttime feeding, he gets up and uses his 'magic shoulder' to burp our baby for me."
Not easy to do night duty after working all day? From my close observations, giving birth wasn't too easy, either. Kudos to me for helping after 5 p.m., when all I want is (for someone to bring me) a cold Bud Light. And way to go, Shannon, for "striking a deal" with me! How understanding. It's a good thing we put our needs ahead of the baby's!

This unbelievable crap comes from William Sears, one of the more respected "experts" on childrearing and apparently an incorrigible condescender.