Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Icebox of the Nation

It may be a beautiful spring day here in Minnesota, but dammit we're not going to let those mountain monkeys in Colorado steal our the title of the "Icebox of the Nation" away from International Falls (or Embarrass, or Tower) and give it to some dump named Fraser. From the Minnesota Monitor:

I applaud the Fraserians for their sense of civic pride, but Icebox of the Nation? Please. Fraser wouldn't even get the honorable mention for Icebox of Minnesota. That honor goes to Tower, where it once hit 60 below zero in 1996. Heck, Embarrass hit minus 57 that year. Indeed, both cities have been colder than International Falls at its coldest -- but in good Minnesota fashion, they were too polite to say anything about it. Fraser's paltry minus 53 is pathetic by comparison.

But it's not just that Fraser would be considered a balmy getaway by Minnesotans. It's also what Fraser doesn't have. Has Fraser produced a Hall-of-Fame football player who also was a world champion wrestler? Of course not. Who has? International Falls, which gave us Bronko Nagurski. Has Fraser produced one of America's most infamous TV evangelists? Certainly not. But Tammy Faye LaValley Bakker Messner grew up in International Falls. Finally, did Fraser serve as the inspiration for the home of any beloved cartoon characters? Please. What city has? Why, International Falls, which inspired Frostbite Falls, home of Rocket J. Squirrell and Bullwinkle J. Moose.