Monday, June 13, 2005

Pop Quiz, Asshole

If you consider yourself politically progressive, how should you respond to people who espouse a feminist position?

A. Invite them over to my house for coconut cream pies. Naked coconut cream pies, that is.

B. Well, I'd direct them to the women's studies section of the blogosphere, only I can't find it! Where are all the women bloggers, again? (And again, and again, and again ...)

C. Offer them some Nair and a joke book. You know! Because they're all hairy and humorless!! GET IT?!?!

D. A "feminist position," huh? Is that, like, two chicks doing it? Will they dress up like Ginger and Mary Ann?

E. Listen to them politely and openly, as long as they're not suggesting I incorporate abortion rights, gay rights, gun control, or any other "women's issues" into my progressive outlook. I mean, come on - I'm focusing on the important shit over here.

F. Can I sit by you?

If you answered anything other than (F), congratulations!! Not only are you regressive and short-sighted, you're helping to ensure that the blogosphere is, too! Are you, perhaps, compensating for something? You win a BRAND NEW dick extender CAR!!

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If you answered (F), come on over - there's plenty of room, and the food is WAY better. You win ... a bottle of Excedrin! Trust me: you'll need it.

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