Wednesday, December 22, 2004


Maybe this is too Freudian a topic for mixed company, but I think a lot about bathroom hygiene. When I get around to it, I'm going to get rich by blackmailing the numerous coworkers who fail to wash their hands after using the facilities. In the meantime, I wonder why the stupid hygiene stations are so far from the sites of elimination.

If America were really serious about hygiene, shouldn't the stations and the sites be right next to one another? That way, you could, you know, wash up prior to recomposing yourself. In the current arrangement, you can't reach an acceptable level of antisepsis until you have already buttoned or zipped up, tucked in, put your shirt back on (if you're George Costanza, I mean), and thus possibly spread horrific germs all over. It's enough to make me want to go all Howard Hughes - and that guy was screwed up.