The Hottest Food I've Ever Had: Or, When I saw God

For lunch today I had a hot dog from Walkin' Dog in downtown Minneapolis. I deviated from my standard Chicago Style and went with a Vienna Beef with spicy mustard, Frank's Hot Sauce, and Sport Peppers. A co-worker asked "what's the hottest food you've ever had?" My face went ashen for a second and then with a smile I said, "Big Daddy's in Des Moines!"

That's right the hottest food I've ever had was in Des Moines and Ike "Big Daddy" Seymour was proprietor and purveyor. He served mild, hot and then a variety of extremely hot sauces with names like Last Supper, Code Blue, Help, Emergency Room.

Back in '96 my friend Jim and I, went to Big Daddy's. We were always on the prowl for hot food - testing our will and nerve, always looking for more. We used to challenge cooks in bars to give us the hottest wings they've ever made. We could never get enough, we needed more and more heat. We picked up a book called "Trail of Flame" we read of Big Daddy and were intrigued, but skeptical. I called my friend Dave in Des Moines to verify. Dave's description of Big Daddy and his restaurant was like a siren song. Before long, Jim and I are in Des Moines to eat hot food and show off our Kung Fu, we thought our home grown style from the Jim & Matt dojo could not be defeated.

Big Daddy used to have a contest/fundraiser. Basically if you could eat a BBQ sandwich with his hottest sauce you could win catering from the restaurant. The number of dollars you put down for the wager would determine the number of guests for a catered party ($100 would mean catering for 100). All you had to do was eat the sandwich in ten minutes and keep it down. If you lost, the money went to the local food shelf. That was a win-win that a spice-loving liberal could get behind.

Jim and I were there in late Winter. We had discussed ways in which we could win the contest. We had already practiced - growing our own peppers, eating them raw, tea spoons of Tabasco, even consuming an habanero. That pepper was my man in Reno. In grad school I grew my own peppers in a window box. Others grew pot, my addiction was to spice. We were ready, damn it. But, Jim and I play it cool. We tell Dave and his wife Laurie to meet us there - this is just a recon mission. We don't need to blow our cover. Big Daddy saw us coming a mile away. I still wonder if Dave tipped him off, as Dave was a big fan of the man and the restaurant.

Jim and I order some BBQ from Big Daddy. Normal stuff, not too hot. We eat it, waiting for Dave and Laurie. We're thinking that this will be easy. Unfortunately, we saw Big Daddy's spice world on a ratio scale, when it was clearly nominal, perhaps ordinal. We start to talk to Big about the contest. Bad move. Hot hubris starts us down a dangerous path. Big Daddy plays coy and then asks if we want a sample of something hotter. His sample was some pulled pork slathered in "Emergency Room" (named after Michael Stokes, who had to go to the ER during a contested challenge. More on that later.). It was no more than a tablespoon for each of us. We thank Big Daddy and each take a bite. A big smile crosses Big Daddy's face. At this point my memory starts to get a bit fuzzy.

HOLY SHIT!!! The burn begins and spreads like wildfire. I notice my throat is starting to swell slightly. This has never happened before. I'm not trained for this. I feel my heart racing and I'm not sure if it is from the heat or it is panic. Get a grip soldier!!! In my head I'm telling myself to not be a wus and to be mentally tough. I stand there and the pain gets worse. Uncontrollably tears stream from my eyes and my lips begin to swell. The fabric of space and time was ripping apart - Joseph Campbell talking about the cosmogonic cycle described a point where man sees God and God sees man That resonates with me now. I tried to stand my ground. I knew the contest wouldn't happen, but I needed to make sure that I didn't appear weak. Ok forget weak, I needed to survive. I wasn't going to die there. The mix of pain and endorphins was incredible, but my throat was tightening. Am I having an allergic reaction? I hadn't noticed, but Jim had sprinted out of the restaurant. At that point, Dave & Laurie walk in. They tell me that someone (they hadn't met Jim) was eating snow off of a car in the parking lot. Big Daddy hears this and says "Now look at that boy out there. What a shame! There's simply no good reason that he needs to be out there eating dirty snow." Big Daddy goes to get some milk and a lemonade. Big Daddy looks out the window and says "oh no" and grabs a chair. Jim was laying down in the parking lot. Big Daddy said "now that's not good for business - you can't have customers laying next to your dumpster." It was not said with a sense of drama, but more as a matter of fact - like he'd seen this before. Big Daddy starts to work on Jim outside. Later Jim recalled that Big Daddy was a pro, he's administered field medicine and instilled a sense of calm, letting Jim know that he wouldn't die, at least not that day.

Dave and Laurie are laughing at me as I had giant clown lips and couldn't stop crying and cursing. Dave thought I was intoxicated. I guess I was high on pain-based endorphins. At some point the body switches gears - it goes from trying to warn the body "hey dumbass, this is hot and you shouldn't eat it" to "this jackass won't learn, release the endorphins." Big Daddy returned with Jim and sat down with us. He coached us through and talked us down. He gave us hot water, lemonade, and milk. Hot water, I never used it in the past, but it worked - opens up the pores, they let go of the capsaicin, and then you close it back down with cold milk. He told us to avoid Coke or Sprite as that would just give us "fizzy lips." As we came down, we continued to talk about his business, his donations, the challenge, etc. Big Daddy brought out a TV & VCR and should us some news reel footage about his establishment and the contest (much of which was due to the '92 and '96 elections, as the Iowa caucus drew lots of press to Des Moines.). The man that nearly killed us, brought us back, entertained us and gave me the best hot food experience of my life.

What about Michael Stokes? I'm glad you asked. As we were talking, Big Daddy heard another customer say "I think Michael Stokes was the last to win that contest…" With that Big Daddy stormed from the table and yelled "Michael Stokes didn't win anything!" Later, Big Daddy returned to our table to check on us and make sure we're in good shape - "Can you drive? Can someone get you home? Will you be back?"

That was one of the most entertaining and humbling experiences I've ever had.
Unfortunately, Big Daddy passed away a few years ago. Dave tells me that the restaurant only does catering now, but they do sell some of their sauces in Des Moines area stores (Hy-Vee & Dahls). I miss Big Daddy.

So, did any other Snackers get to experience Big Daddy's? If you have any spicy recommendations, please let me know.