Monday, March 19, 2007

Fear Everything

The war on terra continues. Terrorism expert Bruce Schneier reports that the FBI is "warning" that terrorists could use school buses as weapons. Only, they're not: "'There is no plot. There is no threat. And parents and children can feel perfectly safe,' FBI spokesman Richard Kolko told"

Boing Boing's resident science-fiction writer, Cory Doctorow, rightly scoffs:

On the subject of "scary-story-but-nothing-to-worry-about," here are a couple from me:

* Osama bin Laden might recruit suicide bombers who fill their colons with Semtex and undetectable shards of broken glass. These anus-bombers might blow up airplanes with their explosive assholes, killing everyone on board. We should all get a thorough, deep rectal exam prior to boarding, starting right now.

* Terrorists could infiltrate the world's car companies and manufacture large, fuel-inefficient vehicles like Hummers. Once America has gone all SUV, the resulting carbon emissions would contribute to polar melting and global warming, causing devastating hurricanes through the southwest, killing and displacing millions of Americans. Ban car companies now, or the terrorists have won.