Avoid Swedish Operations

Woman catches fire during hemorrhoid operation.

Ugh, yuck, and ouch.

Stinkiest Onion Piece Ever

Horrible. It would only have been horribler if they worked in a Christmas-spirit angle:

ALBANY, NY—In one of the most merciful disasters in recent years, a Greyhound bus traveling from Rochester to Albany, NY skidded into a ditch Tuesday, killing a dozen deadbeat fathers and penniless addicts, and putting nearly 20 more hapless bastards out of their misery.

According to Greyhound officials, the fatal crash occurred less than an hour after passengers gathered their pathetic belongings and dragged what little hope they had left onto the despair-soaked bus. Emergency crews called to the scene described the remains of the victims as "slightly more lifeless than they were before the accident."

"This is by far the saddest thing I've ever witnessed," said head rescue worker Charles Rabnett, referring to the sea of fast-food wrappers, losing lottery tickets, and scorched corpses that littered the crash site. "We've done our best to contact family members and loved ones, but so far we've only been able to reach four parole officers and 10 AA sponsors."

Added Rabnett: "Dear God, what a terrible waste of my time."

...

No survivors were reported following the accident. In addition, initial surveillance of the wreckage seems to indicate that those who managed to pull their world-weary bodies out of the overturned bus, gave up on their wretched existence within minutes. According to paramedics, it is likely that many of the casualties had suffered during the crash, and, if not then, for years earlier...

"It's hard to believe that something like this could even happen," said Albany resident Carl Robinson, who, since losing his home to a fire earlier this month, has been sleeping in the city's dilapidated bus station. "To know that life, no matter how dreadful or hopeless, always has a chance of coming to an end—it's so inspiring."

Why the Modern World Sucks

Things like this are invented with a straight face:

Via Engadget.

Googled to Death

I lovingly use a half-dozen Google products every day (like the one I'm using right now), but this interview with Siva Vaidhyanathan is kind of a buzzkill. Vaidhyanathan is writing an online book, The Googlization of Everything, to analyze the pervasiveness and power of Google, "the most interesting institution in the world right now." He claims that Google

is working its way into our consciousness and daily lives at a remarkable rate that is unmatched by any company in human history. And it is doing so in a fairly novel way through the aggregation of our choices. We are choosing to use Google every day. We are not forced or seduced into using it. It actually means Google is laying out a new model for advertising and communication.

That's interesting, and a bit scary. Wholly scary, and just as interesting, is this:

We can't expect a company to be as transparent as the government is. That doesn't mean we shouldn't push at it to be more responsive to our concerns, especially about user confidentiality and privacy. That is the hot-button issue. Most of us are not Google's customers. We are its content. It sells our attention and our user data to its customers and they are all the businesses that advertise with Google. Google is not necessarily more secretive than Coca-Cola, but the difference is Google knows everything about us.

*gulp*

Balanced Dialogue, my ass

You know what pisses me off? OK, a lot of things, but right this moment in particular? When well-meaning people take the concept of Presenting A Balanced Perspective to new levels of stoopid, that's what. Case in point: In my never-ending search for cheap or free activities to take the kid to, I've signed up for a weekly email from GoCityKids, which conveniently assembles local stuff and dumps it in my inbox for my perusal. I'm browsing this weekend's options and I stumble across this little entry:

The Great Global Warming Swindle
To foster a balanced dialogue within the community, the nature center presents a screening of The Great Global Warming Swindle, which offers an alternate viewpoint on global warming to An Inconvenient Truth, which the center showed earlier in the year. The 90-minute film is followed by a discussion. Children must be accompanied. Advance registration is required.

The location of this fine, balanced event? Why, the Westwood Hills Nature Center, of course! Because who has more interest in giving crackpots a bully pulpit than the very places those crackpot ideas will destroy? Gah. From the wording of the entry, it's clear that the Nature Center is showing this in a (misguided) effort to avoid the charge of ... what? Liberal bias, I guess. But this, of course, is absurd. Say the center presented a talk on, oh, the lifecycle of the salmon, for example. Would anyone expect them to offer equal time to a presentation called "The Great Salmon Swindle: They Really Swim Downstream"? OF COURSE NOT. Balanced dialogue means offering people or groups of differing opinions equal say. OPINIONS. Like, in circumstances where multiple valid viewpoints can be expressed. The tastiness of liver, say, or the possibility of a "just war." You can have a debate about these matters because it's possible to be rational and sane and still have differing viewpoints on them. You know what's not like that? GLOBAL WARMING.

Good Money Afer Bad

Last month, I read William Gibson's excellent new novel, Spook Country, the plot of which centers on the MacGuffin of a shipping container full of cash, making its way back from Iraq to the United States. It's a great book; read it.

First, though, read "Billions over Baghdad," an appalling piece by Donald L. Barlet and James B. Steele which describes how, with incredible naiveté and incompetence, the United States government transferred nearly $12 billion (with a B, as they say) to the non-government in Iraq in the months after we toppled Saddam. 12 billion bucks, entirely in cash.

By all accounts, the New York Fed and the Treasury Department exercised strict surveillance and control over all of this money while it was on American soil. But after the money was delivered to Iraq, oversight and control evaporated. Of the $12 billion in U.S. banknotes delivered to Iraq in 2003 and 2004, at least $9 billion cannot be accounted for. A portion of that money may have been spent wisely and honestly; much of it probably wasn't. Some of it was stolen.

There are too many fantastic, nauseating details in the piece to really do it justice, from the extra-legal existence of the CPA to the sheer physical dimensions of this much money. Viz.:

During the [Coalition Provisional Authority]'s little more than a year of life, the New York Federal Reserve Bank made 21 shipments of currency to Iraq totaling $11,981,531,000. All told, the Fed would ship 281 million individual banknotes, in bricks weighing a total of 363 tons.

726,000 pounds of cash, all belonging by law to the Iraqi people, now mostly gone into the hands of crooked American contractors, regular Iraqi crooks, insurgents and terrorists, and who knows whom else. Sick, and sicker for being just one example of the towering incompetence of the Bush administration.

Guns Don't Kill People

Lesson: don't shoot Swedish elk.

The elk knocked Rådlund to the ground and aimed its antlers at his face. Fortunately, the hunter managed to grab hold of the antlers and steer the animal's head away.

But he was not out of danger yet. In a strange reversal of the usual order, the elk's hind legs came into contact with the rifle trapped under Rådlund's body and a shot was fired.

Compare & Contrast

From A Word a Day:

The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart. -Iris Murdoch, writer (1919-1999)

and from Velonews:

Oscar Pereiro was formally named the winner of the 2006 Tour de France on Thursday after American authorities ruled against Floyd Landis's appeal for failing a doping test, the sport's world governing body, the UCI, said.

Pereiro finished the 2006 race in second place, 57 seconds behind Landis but the American tested positive after the race following his 17th stage win at Morzine, three days before the end of the race.

"We can right now say that Pereiro is the winner of the Tour without waiting for a possible appeal by Landis to the Court of Arbitration for Sport," UCI president Pat McQuaid said.

Tour de France director Christian Prudhomme said the decision to strip Landis of the 2006 title was too long in coming.

"We have waited a long time, too long. We said since the beginning that we were confident in the laboratory (AFLD) at Châtenay-Malabry," Prudhomme said. "Now it is proven and confirmed that Landis cheated. As far as the Tour de France is concerned, Landis was no longer the winner after the positive test of the second sample."

"According to the rules, the second-placed rider (Oscar Pereiro) will be promoted to first place," he added. "Landis did everything he could in his defense, for which he cannot be reproached. But it is clear that the process has been far too long."

Iraq: America's Vietnam

The brutal nub of Paul Krugman's column in the Times today:

All in all, Mr. Bush’s actions have not been those of a leader seriously trying to win a war. They have, however, been what you’d expect from a man whose plan is to keep up appearances for the next 16 months, never mind the cost in lives and money, then shift the blame for failure onto his successor.

In fact, that’s my interpretation of something that startled many people: Mr. Bush’s decision last month, after spending years denying that the Iraq war had anything in common with Vietnam, to suddenly embrace the parallel.

Here’s how I see it: At this point, Mr. Bush is looking forward to replaying the political aftermath of Vietnam, in which the right wing eventually achieved a rewriting of history that would have made George Orwell proud, convincing millions of Americans that our soldiers had victory in their grasp but were stabbed in the back by the peaceniks back home.

What all this means is that the next president, even as he or she tries to extricate us from Iraq — and prevent the country’s breakup from turning into a regional war — will have to deal with constant sniping from the people who lied us into an unnecessary war, then lost the war they started, but will never, ever, take responsibility for their failures.

Hack Attack II

A few days ago, I blogged an article in Wired about the cyberattack on Estonia ("eStonia") by Russian hackers. Last week, news emerged about attacks on U.S. and German government websites by hackers who were apparently operating from China. As this piece in the International Herald Tribune shows, the Chinese attackers resemble the Russians in that they may or may not be operating with sanction from their government. Even more troubling than the idea that, in Russia, Putin is using his geeks to probe NATO (as suggested in the Wired piece) is the idea that, in China, the People's Liberation Army may be pursuing military and foreign policy that is not only disconnected from the Communist Party's, but perhaps opposed to it:

Outside the secretive party and government bureaucracy in China, little is known about the ties between the civilian leadership and the sprawling, 2.3 million-strong People's Liberation Army.

As Hu [Jintao, the president of China] attempts to consolidate his power ahead of the important 17th Party Congress expected to be held in October, doubts remain that he exercises the same control over the military as earlier Communist leaders.

These doubts were heightened when the Chinese military shot down an obsolete weather satellite in January, seemingly without informing the civilian bureaucracy in advance of what was clearly a provocative move that drew widespread international protest.

Some foreign analysts suspect that it is difficult for the civilian leadership to keep track of cyber warfare research and development because it is not centralized under a single military or intelligence command.

Great: 2.3 million Chinese troops, answering only to their rogue generals. It's like the obverse of the crazy situation in Washington, where a rogue president is somehow answerable only to a high-ranking general in Iraq.

The Swedish Right Wing

Last year, you were almost certainly riveted by parliamentary elections in Sweden, where a center-right (or, as they put it, "centre-right") coalition came to power, displacing the more left-leaning socialist parties for the first time in a very long time. Well, those free-marketers are going nuts! Listen to this bit of Ayn Randian supply-side craziness:

Parents who want to stay at home to look after their young children will be entitled to extra money from their local councils, under new proposals unveiled by the government on Tuesday. The money will be offered to parents with children aged between 1 and 3 who do not make use of subsidized childcare. The manifesto proposed either a taxed benefit of up to 4,000 kronor per month* or an untaxed benefit of up to 3,000 kronor* per month. Parents receiving the benefit will not have to stop working entirely.

Inevitably, given the brutal nature of Swedish politics, the critics have their knives out, denouncing the proposal as too Norwegian (I'm serious!) and not generous enough.

(*4,000 kronor is about $580; 3,000 is about $440.)

Craig's List

Another day, another Republican gay-sex scandal - this one originating in the men’s room at the Northstar Crossing in MSP's Lindbergh Terminal. From Newser:

Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested after allegedly soliciting sex from a male plainclothes police officer in a men's room at Minneapolis airport June 11. August 8th, Craig appeared in the Hennepin County District Court and pled guilty to disorderly conduct . • He was given a suspended 10-day jail sentence and a year's probation. He denied wrongdoing today, and said he regrets his guilty plea. “I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter,” he said. "In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously.” Craig, 62, resigned as Senate co-chair of the Romney campaign.

Read the Roll Call story. it's a doozy, full of interesting details from the police report about how Craig solicited the officer. It sounds like he's an old pro at cruising - though not at coming up with excuses for the behavior that got him arrested. "Craig stated 'that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine,' the report states. Craig also told the arresting officer that he reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper that was on the floor.' It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, nor did Craig pick up a piece of paper,' the arresting officer said in the report."

Barbara Ehrenreich dissects the ongoing financial crises:

Somewhere in the Hamptons a high-roller is cursing his cleaning lady and shaking his fists at the lawn guys. The American poor, who are usually tactful enough to remain invisible to the multi-millionaire class, suddenly leaped onto the scene and started smashing the global financial system. Incredibly enough, this may be the first case in history in which the downtrodden manage to bring down an unfair economic system without going to the trouble of a revolution.

First they stopped paying their mortgages, a move in which they were joined by many financially stretched middle class folks, though the poor definitely led the way. All right, these were trick mortgages, many of them designed to be unaffordable within two years of signing the contract. There were “NINJA” loans, for example, awarded to people with “no income, no job or assets.” Conservative columnist Niall Fergusen laments the low levels of “economic literacy” that allowed people to be exploited by sub-prime loans. Why didn’t these low-income folks get lawyers to go over the fine print? And don’t they have personal financial advisors anyway?

More.

This Just In: Some Republicans Are Hypocrites

I can't find anything to cut out of this post on the City Pages' "Blotter" blog, so I'll just quote it all:

Back in June, Vita.mn ran a story about where people have sex outdoors in Minnesota. The article made it on the Strib's main web page, prompting reader complaints. Kate Parry, the paper's ombudsman, wrote an article about the brouhaha, quoting Tim Droogsma, former press secretary for both then-senator Rudy Boschwitz and then-governor Arne Carlson.

Droogsma's reaction to the article: "I don't think I'm too prudish (which, I realize, is what prudes always say), but do we really want this sentence: 'She hopped on my lap, facing forward. I pulled up her skirt in the back, slid her panties out of the way, and unzipped'?"

Fast forward a couple months:

On Tuesday, Droogsma was arrested by St. Paul cops for allegedly trying to pay for sex. The deal was brokered on Craiglist, the St. Paul PD says, and the would-be prostitute was an undercover cop.

In an email to the Strib, Droogsma, 50, denies being a dirty late-middle-aged man, calling the whole escapade "a severe misunderstanding."

I love hypocrisy!

How Do You Say "Sorry" in Gaelic?

I'm sorry, but all the I'm-sorrying around the planet is making me retch.

First, Japan issues a mealy-mouthed mea culpa for invading everybody else in Asia (and nobody else accepts the apology), then a bunch of Confederate states start lining up to apologize for slavery, and now we have freaking Denmark - land of Hans Christian Andersen, delectable pastries, bike commuting, and doped-up cyclists - apologizing to Ireland for the Viking invasions a thousand years ago. Gimme a break. Has anyone had it easier since 1000 A.D. than the Irish? They have a beautiful country, the English have been happy to help out with religion and language, the whole potato angle worked out great, their IT-based economy is booming, traditional Irish music like U2 is huge, and don't forget Guinness.

But still, they now get a flat, waterlogged Nordic country to apologize for trying to jump-start the Irish import/export business a few centuries ago? Shameless. It's Ireland that oughta be apologizing to the rest of us for this nonsense.

We Lurve Pawlenty

Wha?

In the wake of the Minneapolis bridge collapse, Gov. Tim Pawlenty’s approval rating has climbed to its highest level recorded during his tenure in office, a new poll shows.

This is ridiculous. His administrative style contributed to the infrastructure problems that have been highlighted by the collapse. His no-taxes policy hamstrings the state government's ability to move forward. He has been steathily unrolling many of the state-funded programs which make (made?) Minnesota a great state. And on top of that, he's clearly positioning himself for Bigger and Better Things just as soon as possible.

Ridiculous.

Busted Up

I think it's because I'm now a parent and (temporarily) our family's sole breadwinner, but the ups and downs of the financial markets are suddenly riveting to me. Not in the check-the-tickers-all-day-long kinda way, but in the will-my-401(k)-survive kinda way. As such, this column in the Financial Times is an especially good overview of the market meltdowns that started last week:

Financial markets, and particularly the big players within them, need fear. Without it, they go crazy. Moreover, it is impossible for outsiders to regulate a global financial system riddled with conflicts of interest and dominated by huge derivatives markets, massive trading by highly leveraged hedge funds and reliance on abstruse mathematics and questionable statistical models. These markets must regulate themselves. The only thing likely to persuade them to do so is the certainty that the players will be allowed to go bust.

Down from the Mountain

Boy, the 2007 Tour de France just won't stop. As doping accusations continue to spin out, today the tour winner, Alberto Contador, took the pulpit to say that

I have never doped and I have never participated in an act of doping. I won the Tour clean. I cannot understand the attacks against by people that don't even know me. My commitment is absolute and I will always be ready to collaborate in the fight against doping.

Thing is, he might be telling the truth, but it doesn't matter. Cycling's not only so badly tainted now that the freaking tour champion gets disinvited from middling races in which he wasn't even going to ride, but that his team - and the team on which Lance Armstrong rode to win his seven titles - can't even get a sponsor for the upcoming cycling season, and is disbanding. The team had eight of the last nine Tour de France championships, and can't get anyone to give them a few million a year. Imagine if the freaking Colts were kicked out of their stadium in the off-season, or the Cardinals were forced to move to an even crummier town - it's that crazy and bad.

A picture is worth a thousand curse words

OK, this is old, old news, but I'm catching up on my bloglines and I just saw it and ... jeebus, but if this isn't a sign of the apocalypse I don't know what the hell WOULD be. Check it: there are actually people out there who pay good money to turn this:

into THIS:

Seriously. Like, intentionally. WTF? In what warped world is the bottom picture an improvement over the top? What the hell kind of message are you sending your kid when you do this to their pictures? I admit, the top photo is a little pink and precious for my taste, but the "retouched" one will haunt my dreams tonight. And there are more ...

I just don't get it.

(Via Broadsheet.)

Meta Tragedy

From the Local in Sweden:

A gravedigger died in southern Sweden on Wednesday after becoming trapped in a grave he was digging.

The accident happened in a cemetery in Gudmuntorp, near Höör in Skåne, at 12pm. The man and a colleague had been preparing the grave, and had deposited earth dug from the ground in a large, open container.

The container, estimated to weigh three tonnes, started sliding into the grave while the men were still standing in it. One of the men managed to get out of the grave in time, while the other became trapped under the container, according to Stefan Färdig of the emergency services. The incident is being treated as a workplace accident, Färdig said.

Okay, this is bad and silly enough to begin with, but then the guy they're quoting? His name includes the word "dig"?