Xmas controversies: how do YOU top your tree?

When I was little, we always had an elaborate angel topping our tree. You know: the kind with the stiffened muslin fabric skirt, the flowing plaster or resiny hair and the outstretched arms. Very biblical, very New Testament, very classical Christmas. After my parents split, my mom kept the angel and my dad switched to a traditional Austrian tree topper. We had ones made of wood and ones made of glass, but they all had that sort of pointed finial shape to them, kind of an extension of the tree top itself. Now, as the oldest child, I tend to carry on the traditions of my childhood with fierce devotion. You know, certain traditions just cannot be messed with: the tree has to be real, there cannot be tinsel, certain ornaments go in certain places, etc. But when it comes to tree-toppers, I have eschewed the angels and finials of my youth for a more gloriously over-the-top option:

Yes, the lighted star. It even blinks, if I want it to, which I mostly don't. Why do I like the star so much? Well, for one thing: SHINY! (I'm a bit of a magpie like that.) But also, dude: when you were a kid and you drew a picture of a Christmas tree, what did you always put at the top? A star, right? WELL THERE YOU GO. Christmas is one of the few times of the year when I feel it's OK to integrate a little tacky, gilded, sentimental, crass gaudiness. Heck, I EMBRACE it this time of year. 'Tis the season, right? And the star atop my tree hits the perfect note. What about you? What's on top of your tree? (Or, if you don't have one, what WOULD you top a tree with, if you did?)

Primary Decisions

Well. This may just have solidified my decision as to whom I'll vote for in the upcoming primaries. (I admit I was leaning in that direction, anyway.) Check it:

Manchester, NH – Today, Senator John Edwards outlined his bold policies for a more family-friendly America with universal paid family and medical leave, universal pre-kindergarten for four-year-olds, more affordable care for other children and job benefits for independent workers. Among the most significant policy proposals of the Edwards plan is for at least eight weeks of paid family and medical leave that will help American workers balance their jobs and their families.

If you can stand the PR-speak, check out the whole press release. Universal paid leave and Pre-K + subsidized childcare = music to my ears. And should be music to everyone's ears, of course, since those little rugrats will one day be deciding how nice your nursing home care is. Among other things. I'm not super confident that Edwards will get the nod, but policies like this make it pretty easy for me to give him my vote.

Idiots Getting Some on the Side

A Texas man is suing 1-800-Flowers for $1 million after a thank you note from the web florist outed him as an adulterer. Leroy Greer specifically asked 1-800-Flowers not to send him a receipt for the cuddly stuffed animal and dozen long stemmed roses he ordered for his mistress. Despite his request, 1-800-Flowers sent a thank you note to his house several months later, prompting his wife to ask who the hell got flowers. She called 1-800-Flowers, which gladly faxed her a copy of Leroy's order form that included the following message meant for his mistress: "Just wanted to say I love you and you mean the world to me! -Leroy."

Leroy, you are an idiot. And a scumbag.

Happy Mother's Day

Yeah, so I'm a little late posting these felicitations. What can I say? My own daughter decided to show her appreciation for my mothering skills by getting the sniffles and then a fever which rendered her woebegone and snuggly in the extreme.

But I digress. It's Mother's Day, and while lord knows one day isn't near enough, let us nonetheless take a moment to send a little shout out to all the moms we hold near and dear. WOOT.

Here is a most excellent mama poem by one Lucille Clifton:

admonitions

boys
i don't promise you nothing
but this
what you pawn
i will redeem
what you steal
i will conceal
my private silence to
your public guilt
is all i got

girls
first time a white man
opens his fly
like a good thing
we'll just laugh
laugh real loud my
black women

children
when they ask you
why is your mama so funny
say
she is a poet
she don't have no sense

And, for you visual learners, did you know that CafePress has almost 15,000 mama-related designs? Ye gods! There are several good ones, but my favorite would have to be this, which I think I need to get in onesie form (for the kid, for the kid):

(x-posted at my other nest)

Happy Birthday, Baby Bean

Today is Eleanor's first birthday.

Many happy returns, baby girl!

Speaking Truth To Power

Um, you hafta read this. I'm not even kidding. An excerpt:

... why would smart, professional women insist that they chose to stay home? Because that’s the most emotionally healthy course: wanting what you’ve got. “That’s really one of the agreed-upon principles of human nature. People want their attitudes and behavior to be in sync,” said Amy Cuddy, an assistant professor in the management and organizations department at Northwestern Kellogg School of Management. “People who’ve left promising careers to stay home with their kids aren’t going to say, ‘I was forced out. I really want to be there.’ It gives people a sense of control that they may not actually have.”

So yes, maybe some women “chose” to go home. But they didn’t choose the restrictions and constrictions that made their work lives impossible. They didn’t choose the cultural expectation that mothers, not fathers, are responsible for their children’s doctor visits, birthday parties, piano lessons, and summer schedules. And they didn’t choose the bias or earnings loss that they face if they work part-time or when they go back full time.

Can I get a HELL YEAH?

Names, Names, Names

This week, I've coincidentally seen a bunch of stuff on the web about American surname customs. My wife blogged about her eternal regret at adopting my rather difficult last name (and the silliness of my toddler trying to spell that last name), Carleton College's alumni magazine ran an article on the changes in the idea that women should adopt their husbands' last names, and the USA Today just looked at the growing (but not novel, despite what they say) trend of men adopting their wives' last names. (One member of this blog's team knows all about that rare but very cool (and even kinda subversive) practice.)

I can't see even a shred of legitimacy clinging to the idea that women "should" adopt their husbands' names. Holding that out as the norm strikes me as the worst sort of empty, precedent-worshipping conservatism - one step away from creationism. On the other hand, it's hard for me to see the alternatives - a woman keeping her own name, a man adopting his wife's name, a couple coining a new joint surname - as much more than a convenience and a token of affection. None of them seem like "statements" about equality, patriarchy, or anything else. What am I missing?

In defense of V-day

Now, THIS is a man who knows how to be a good valentine.

Eating Away and Kicking Ass

Two items from today's American Progress Report:

Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) made headlines last month after complaining about Congress' new schedule that requires members to work five days a week: "Keeping us up here eats away at families," Kingston told the Washington Post. "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says." Yet on Wednesday, Kingston offered this advice to Americans living in poverty: work longer hours. During House debate over the minimum wage, Kingston said raising the minimum wage would do nothing for poor Americans. Instead, if people marry and work longer hours, "they would be out of poverty," he said. "It's an economic fact." (Watch the video.) Kingston is wrong. The annual salary for full-time workers earning the federal minimum wage "still leaves a family of three about $6,000 short of the poverty threshold."

That's the kind of good, clear thinking we need to drag this country kicking and screaming into the future. Maybe this is better:

And finally: "The White House labeled as 'ridiculous'" a story that Rep. Steve Kagen (D-WI) told constituents about his interaction with Bush officials a week after the November election. Kagen, who self-funded much of his campaign, claims he trapped Karl Rove in a White House bathroom and said, "You recognize me? My name's Dr. Multimillionaire and I kicked your ass."

Greetings: Updates on Fi & Wii

Happy holidays, snackers. I hope the year is off to a great start for all of you. It’s been a while since I’ve posted (I know, some are saying “thank gawd” and others are saying “hmm, hardly noticed.”) back sometime in ought-six. My lack of posting will be more than venomously explained when I’m in a safe haven and we can scandalously dish.

We had a lovely holiday – hosted Christmas and Christmas Eve. Didn't have to do the three-way trip spending almost as much time in airports as with relatives. No sir-ee. With the first grandchild comes leverage. Outside of all of the cooking, it was a great time. Let’s be frank it’s not the baking, it’s the cooking that gets you. Included in the holiday mix were ice box cookies, almond tarts, cranberry bread, ginger-molasses cookies, lasagna, standing rib roast, garlic smashed spuds, chips, dips, drinks, and love, lots and lots of love...and by love, I mean butter.

Fiona did very, very well with her first Christmas and being passed around from one family member to another. Can't wait to see what the holidays are like next year.

The Wii part of the update, is that I’m still looking and am enjoying the hunt. In the mean time, I won my fantasy football league – suck on that Caged Furry, the Effenheimers still rule the roost! I will spend my *hard earned* cash on the new Wii and copies of Madden ’07 and Zelda.

Now aren’t you glad you waited for this post… be sure to drink your Ovaltine.